'Dear John Letter' Method

[LeAnn Marcum]

We have all fallen into an emotional attachment to our daydreams/fantasies, whatever you might call them. If you think about it, they are similar to relationships. You have a deep love for these dreams like they were your significant other. But sometimes, these relationships can be bad for you. Like a significant other, they can be loving and inviting at first, but sometimes they can turn abusive. You fall into the illusion that you NEED this significant other, no matter how much it drags you down, and even though you get the idea that this isn't what you need, you don't want to leave. It's like a trap with an open door.

We just don't know how to walk out. But you don't NEED this significant other. You deserve better. Your daydreams are abusing you by luring you back into your fantasy world, when really, you just want to stop and focus on reality and what REALLY matters. And the secret, is closure.

You're probably wondering, but how do I get closure? Closure is this: when you and your significant other break up. You talk about it, and tell each other why. The opposite of closure is your significant other breaking it off with you and not telling you why, and you're left for a really long time thinking about why he/she broke up with you.

So in summary, even though you may not WANT to, but you know that you need to end your constant daydreaming because it is messing up your reality. One way to do it is to write yourself a Dear John letter to your daydreams. Explain why you are leaving them, and that they are just not giving you the freedom to enjoy life the way it is, and that they are never going to get you anywhere. Say that you'd rather be appreciating and spending your waking hours with your REAL family and friends, and everything else that really matters to you that you are taking for granted.

Stop dreaming and start living!

[taffle]

Dear Kev. L/Dan. K/Pra. M:

I would like a clean break from you guys. Please stop haunting me.

Thanks.

[LeAnn Marcum]

 I understand that you feel like you need imaginary friends since you have none in reality. But you're making the same mistake I made. You're waiting for someone to come to you, and life doesn't work well that way. You need to get out and make friends yourself, or else you never will. The more time you spend daydreaming about your imaginary friends, the more time you're spending from making real ones.

Lost soul said:

You are right about it that it is messing up with the reality. But don't know about other but for me I am into this because I never really got that happy family and friends moment in life. Yes the only time I was ever conscious and in real life was when I got this friend with whom I could share everything and now while he is no more there for me I am back where I was in my dreams. They are my best friends. Atleast they keep me happy. My life is moving atleast its less suicidal that way. I get whatever I want and whoever I want and situations are my puppets! I know its unhealthy but at least at the moment daydreams are my best friends. Only I would want to do is keep them under control and try to control outward reactions so that no one notices. May be someday there will come someone who will take me away from these daydreams but uptill then I need them. Best part about daydreams are they are not they wont be hurt if I dump them if I need them no more. 

[Sarah Beth]

Huh. I actually did this once back in middle school. It helped get rid of my DD characters for a time, but I would still daydream about movies and books and such. I even recently tried intimidating my characters into submission. Yeeeeaaah, didn't go so well. :)

[Madelyn]

I tried doing this when I was 12. I can't remember when I started the daydreaming, perhaps a year or so before then. I have this one friend, the others are great and have always been so great to me in these daydreams, but this one friend is like my soul mate. My best friend, my lover, my protector. He loves me just as I am, which is something that human romantic partners have never been able to do. As a friend he accepts me and our conversations are amazing. anything that I could ever need or want. He also actually has personality faults that I created so he would be more realistic. NO ONE has ever been these for me like he has.

I imagined that we were dancing, and I told him that I couldn't see him anymore. He smiled and was sad, but understood. But he never left me. Now, more than a decade on, he has literally been the longest friendship\relationship of my life (besides immediate family). I have now spent more of my life with him than with out him. Oh the things we have shared together! The places we have been, the adventures we have seen, the fights we have had! I love him more than anyone. I have been feeling more and more like I need to get on with my real (and very very boring and sucky) life, so I tried again. Breaking up with him in fantasy mode was just too painful. I started crying, actually crying. Because I am technically him, I felt his pain also over leaving me. I would advise against, (if this makes sense) going in to your daydream and breaking up with them in character, too real. I am making an effort to call on my sanity and remind myself that he is not, never was and never will be real. I am curious as to whether anyone else has managed to "break up" with their friends, and if they experienced grief. It sounds dumb to grieve over someone not real, but goddamn, he was real to me.