Being Rejected and Lashing out at others

[Chelsea]

How do you deal with being rejected your entire life? I have been rejected by friends, people, family, doctors, etc. Which is probably why I live in my fantasy world but how can I deal with this? I quit therapy and can't afford any doctor or medication (I am poor) and the free places take at least a month to get into.

Also I feel myself being angry and lashing out at people I don't even know. If someone is doing something I do lash out at them like in public or on the internet. I lack self control in this area and I do it even if I don't know the person personally but see something I perceive as wrong or do not like, for example favoring one child over another (happened to me growing up) I lash out and tell them they need to stop.

How can I help myself?

[Emma]

I think that when you deal with some sort of mental problem (depression, anxiety, MDD, etc) then it makes you self-absorbed.  This is not the same thing as being selfish.  Whether or not you were a perfectly healthy child who was mistreated and then made to have a mental problem or if your mental problem made you have a hard time as a child (chicken or egg), if you have a life in which you are different or struggling or have difficulty with other people or really depressed/anxious or whatever, then it makes you start to think about yourself and other people A LOT, and I've learned that mentally healthy people don't do this quite as much.  Plus you spend more time alone so you have more time to obsess over it and wonder about it, and then you start to be self-absorbed.  Depressed people, bipolar people, etc, are often a real drag to be around because they are so self-conscious or self-absorbed or defensive.  The thing is, you have so much on your mind about how misunderstood things are or how messed up everyone is, that when you see someone just mindlessly out talking or saying stuff that you disagree with, it really works you up and you lash out.  Other people are constantly stepping into piles of controversy or poking sensitive buttons without even knowing it.  This is because there is so much that you find upsetting or controversial.  Other people seem to be able to let it go or else they don't notice because they aren't thinking about it all the time.

I'm saying "you" here but I mean the collective "you"- not your personally.  All of us do this if we have some problems; I do it.  I'm talking about myself here too.  Daydreaming is an escape from all of that.  I feel a lot better when I can get out of my head and focus on tasks, hobbies, learning something new or just hanging out and not being defensive.  It helps to try to think of things from someone else's point of view.

[Ivy White]

I am not good with being rejected, but on the other hand I'm not good with being very intimate either, so I'm in this weird space where I want people to get close and when they do I tend to push them away or do crazy things.

I don't tend to lash out or anything, rather I bottle up and I'll have anger-fests in my fantasy.