Wild Minds network

Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest

AM I IN LOVE ??

Hello everyone. I hope you people are good :) ...i am going through a confusion that i hope you guys can clear for me. I started mding some 8 years ago and it does affect my day to day routine. Iam 22 year old . So the confusion is wether iam in love or not because the guy i think iam in love with is a part of my fantasy world as well as real world. But i feel emotionally attached to my md character where as the real one, i feel emotions for him very rarely. I just am confused because that real guy proposed me and iam reluctant t say yes because i don't want to suffer the illusion of this later in my life. May be i just love my MD guy or may be i like the real one as well but iam confused like hell... any suggestions????????????

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Permalink Reply by Jonathan Eagle on October 11, 2013 at 6:37am

My guess is that you want you using your daydreams to effectively 'perfect' your current boyfriend into what you want him to be rather than what he actually is like in person. My question is; is the boyfriend in your daydreams significantly different than that of your true boyfriend? Also, do you see them as completely different people? We all want a little more out of our lovers but we as human beings have to accept to negatives of them in to have a happy life. We draw inspirations from various forms of media in order to create our personal perfect dream partner and it's impossible for any real individuals to meet that levels of perfections. As a maladaptive daydreamer however, we can visualise these perfect lovers at any given moment making difficult to understand if we are with the right people. My advice to you would be to really think about your relationship with your boyfriend and remember that as a maladaptive daydreamer, your fantasy lover will always be there by he is fictional. On a personal note, I always thought 22 was a bit young for getting married so take your time about your choice. Hope this helps clear things up for you!

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Permalink Reply by yoya yoya on October 11, 2013 at 7:22am

i Think : no body is Perfect at all. so of course your DD guy is Completely Perfect , and the real one is Imperfect just as all of us . so of course you think you like the DD one more than the real one .

try to point out what do you like in your DD one and improve it in your real one . For example : if your DD guy loves Pets and your real one doesn't love pets ...try to make him own a pet and get closer to pets.

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Permalink Reply by S K on October 11, 2013 at 1:29pm

I think you should give it a shot but try to keep the expectations developed in MDing separate during your dates as you get to know him.I think you like the real guy - that's why he became the basis of your dreams and are in love/extremely attached to the MD guy because you can mould him to suit and fit all your needs. Remember they are two separate people.

I have dd about a guy in the real world whom I haven't seen in years. If I had a chance to have a shot with someone in the real world on whom my fantasies are based I would at least try.