almost chemical addiction.

[Anna]

i use my fantasies as rewards. if the real world gets tough i slip into it, .its like a drug, my pulse gets higher and i feel more alive. when the "story" gets boring the high stops ,and it feels like im coming off some drug.i feel guilty afterwards because i havent interacted with the real world for sometimes three days in a row. three days might seem little to you but my fantasies become shorter and shorter, now they only last for maybe two hours.  when i was young it could go on for a week and then it would get boring so i would find another "fantasy".

when im stressed the daydreaming becomes obsessive, and i cant concentrate or do any homework, i just hear voices almost , its like my characters talk in myhead even though i dont want to daydream.if i meditate or say outloud to myself that this is crazy, then it stops for a little while, then i slip into it.

the only time i dont daydream is when i have done something productive, but after a day that good authentic feeling goes way and i slip back.but it feels good and i dont want to stop.