Wild Minds network

Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest

All You Ever Do

"All you ever want to do is sit down and daydream! Do you think I have time to just sit down and do nothing, daydreaming? You never do any jobs, you go outside barefoot and you never help ME. Do you want to bike to work every day and come back to do jobs? Huh, do you?! You need to get a job..."

Well...

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS TO HAVE AN ADDICTION? BECAUSE IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT I CAN CONTROL. IT'S NOT SOMETHING A JOB WILL PREVENT, OR WORKING, OR A PUPPY. IT'S NOT SOMETHING I'M PROUD OF. YES I UNDERSTAND. NO I CAN'T STOP.

SO MOM, WHY DO YOU HAVE OCD AND NARCISSISM HUH? I SUPPOSE THAT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN 'JUST STOP' AS WELL?

Ahem.

Thanks.

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Permalink Reply by Mevve on October 5, 2012 at 7:15am

MD *is* something you can control; you started doing it, and so you can stop doing it. Obviously, only with help from others.

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Permalink Reply by Lauren W. on October 6, 2012 at 5:01am

I agree that people who have not experienced addiction don't understand what it's like or how it feels. That's why things like AA and this forum exist, so we can hear from other people whose minds work just like ours. That helps.

But having a job has helped with my fantasizing. Being occupied helps. Unfortunately, the only people who can really help addicts is us, if that makes sense. The first step is admitting you have a problem (you've done that) and that you have no control (check!). But I do think there are things you can do to take steps towards sobriety. Have you ever been to an AA meeting? You might find an open meeting and just say you're listening. Hear how others who suffer from addiction cope day to day and take action to be sober. One day at a time, etc. You can't necessarily control it, but you can take steps to free yourself from the need for it, if that makes sense.

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Permalink Reply by Gina Black on October 7, 2012 at 6:23am

Getting a job has also helped me. It's hard work, but if you want to control it it's worth it. My suggested criteria is, try finding something relatively fast-paced, so that you won't have much time to doze off. (I had a job in product promotion, where I needed to walk and talk all day. Hard work, but getting tough is good! And whenever I remember that job, it helps me "wake up" from my addiction)

I won't lie, you won't be able to control it in a day, no matter the methods you'll choose. It takes time. But you can do it ;)