a story of how i found out it was too much

[serene]

i daydream 2 times a day one before i sleep and one with music in the middle of the day if my story was a big one i would shut down everything in my life and daydream. there was a time when i had a boyfriend and this fantasy grew so much that i would shut down everything i am doing and daydream, it was so big that it made me realize. . that was the part where i really was like nope thats  too much. at that time i didn't have much knowledge about it and i did search online and stuff but i didn't really mean it. i tried one time to sleep without it ( daydream puts me to sleep ) um it worked i think idk how really i don't  remember if it worked or not anyway then i saw a video about something  called child glass syndrome, a kid who always daydreams about being in pain not because they  want to feel it its because they just want to be loved and cared for, i cried afterwards and didn't want to daydream ever. i couldn't and the way it drained me was so bad i forgot and continued daydreaming, then i tried again and it worked for there days straight then i lost track and slipped a lot and then went back on track slipped a lot and its this endless cycel but i am  getting a hang of myself now i'm trying to maintain other things i hope i can. every time  i ask myself if daydream gives me comfort what will, ill just cant take it anymore and daydream again i would just hate myself that i would daydream of another version of me, so im gonna work on myself overall and hope the best. even if i cant sleep cuz im stopping daydreaming i will try. cuz this is not real its never real.