What kind of evil addiction are we facing?!?!?

I've been living in the same fantasy for years and years, I'm happy there. This past week though My head hasn't drifted there. i noticed it right away, like something was missing. I should also mention I am bipolar (II), and when I am in my deepest darkest depression I get so mad at myself for daydreaming until I reach the point of screaming out loud, "IT'S NOT REAL!!! IT'S NOT REAL!!!" then I just feel even more frustrated and alone than before. But I always come back. This week however was different, I believe I went manic (which is really rare for me) and began my crash this morning, but I don't feel the presence of "my people" who are always there to pick me up when I get down. Now I find myself feeling more and more depressed because I feel like now even the people I create and control in my own mind have abandoned me too!!! I thought I wanted this to stop, but now I kind of want it back!!! What kind of evil addiction is this we are facing?!?!?

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