I've been living in the same fantasy for years and years, I'm happy there. This past week though My head hasn't drifted there. i noticed it right away, like something was missing. I should also mention I am bipolar (II), and when I am in my deepest darkest depression I get so mad at myself for daydreaming until I reach the point of screaming out loud, "IT'S NOT REAL!!! IT'S NOT REAL!!!" then I just feel even more frustrated and alone than before. But I always come back. This week however was different, I believe I went manic (which is really rare for me) and began my crash this morning, but I don't feel the presence of "my people" who are always there to pick me up when I get down. Now I find myself feeling more and more depressed because I feel like now even the people I create and control in my own mind have abandoned me too!!! I thought I wanted this to stop, but now I kind of want it back!!! What kind of evil addiction is this we are facing?!?!?
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