Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Well, probably not that tiny... I babble a lot.
My name is Sabrina, I'm a 24 year old art student in Texas, and I have just discovered... everything in terms of Maladaptive Daydreaming yesterday morning. I don't understand why I didn't search sooner, but now I'm here.
It all started when I was a child, maybe 5 or 6 years old. I had imaginary friends, began making up stories in my head and would pace around the dining table while my mom would play piano. My mother always assumed I was galloping, or dancing around the table but I was actually daydreaming. From the dining room table, I got a small tape player as a present and my daydreaming moved outside to the swing. I would spend hours just swinging and daydreaming about everything a kid could daydream of. Having adventures with dinosaurs, riding Yoshi in Mario Land, traveling the galaxy with Luke Skywalker or being the princess of monsters from DOOM.
It evolved from there rather quickly, together with the output which was my attempt at writing and drawing. I would use my daydreams as stories when I was younger, tell them to older members of my family, have imaginary fun time with friends, etc. I began pacing once it started but i didn't become self conscious until I was a bit older. I would close the doors and play music to pace around and have adventures in my head. Radio, LPs, computer music, pause a video game in a certain area where the soundtrack attracted me or triggered something. I still do that, except I mainly use my iPod now, and a closed room. When that's not available, I drive alone listening to music (or as a passenger), have intense internal dialogues with myself (like I'm talking to someone else)-- and so many many many worlds I visit, so many characters I adore and it keeps growing more and more.
Although sometimes, many of the worlds in my head are expansions from other worlds created by other people (like worlds from video games, books and movies), as well as worlds made up by me where I put my characters and external characters from other series or places to play in and have their lives (and I watch them). I suppose it's because I am an art student and I used my ability to export my daydreams (I've been calling them "stories" since I was little though). I do have one specific world where I personally play in, and I call it my "Base."
I was surprised though that I kept it under control since the world and the people around me that don't really have a creative spark bores me. Mother put the fear of God in me about not doing my homework, so i would always do my homework (although I procrastinate a lot on it), study for tests, do my projects. Takes a lot of motivation, since when I get anxious I just lock myself in my room and start to pace and daydream. Nowadays it gets into conflict with my work since my hands are incapable of drawing fast enough to output what's in my head (and in a satisfying manner). I'm still trying to balance it and come to terms that it's almost improbable to export my worlds into reality since there are so many (also the fear that it won't be accepted).
In all honesty, I don't see this as a problem. It can be a problem if it gets out of control; I miss talking to my friends at times but I quickly tire of too much them and I fall back into needing to be alone, with music and my stories. But I'm using it as inspiration for me and where I dream to go (which is still a problem to me to decide. too many possibilities in my head, it's hard to narrow it down to one that I want).
I feel like I babbled too much pff. But again, hello! I'm very happy to be here.
PS: I am actually very afraid of clouds, which is ironic because my head is always in the cloud. /facepalm/