The story so far.......

[Sabrina Gonzalez]

I'm new this website and i would like to tell you my story......................
From the time I was the age of four my father sexually abused me. The abuse lasted for 9 years, untill I was 13. Can you guess my age?
I'M 13. I used to go to a world were everything was perfect, where my familie was normale and the smells, sounds and sights were perfect. When i was younger i thought of stuff for "adults" like being free and living by myself and having a baby and a husband. I still due. I go to this place usually right befor i go to bed so i can stay there untill i fall asleep. No one in my family has any idea what I've been through and i dont want them to. I go to 2 or 3 therapy sestions a week and i lie. The only thing that helps is going to my world.
My world:
people- Me, my husband, my baby girl and some friends
Names- Sabrina, Lucas, Bella and Joyce, Eric,Mellony and Ed
main setting- a large white house made of stone right near an ocean cliff, surrounded on three sides by evergreeen trees.
smells- a sweet red rose, the smell right after it rains and red wine
sound- owls and forest creatures like a howling wolf and a piano playing Moonlight Sonata
But thats all for now about ,my world.
So want to know 1 more reason I got to my world.When i told the police about my Dad, he killed himself in virgina by setting himcelf on fire inside his car. My brother blames me for his death and every time he gets a chance he tells me how wants to kill me and how much he hates me even just the sound of my vocie.So issolation is what protects you from others and your true self because the truth hurts to bad to let it spill out to the wind

[Sabrina Gonzalez]

Thank you and brother is 16

[northern gal]

You are not at fault for what your father did.   You were a victim and he is the only one responsible for his death.  Unless your brother is very young, you should tell your mother, the police, or your therapist about his threats.  Where is your mother in this?  Is she someone you could talk to?  I, myself, use my daydreams to escape from "real life", but you still do have to live in and deal with real life.  So, please do get help for dealing with your brother's threats and to help you get through this situation.  My father was also abusive, not sexually, but physically...and my daydreams were an escape and helped me to get through it.  I grew up, got married, had kids, got divorced, and trying to live happily ever after in the "real world".  You can too!  Stay strong, and hang in there...you can do it!!