The part that Music plays

[Jixie Dye]

Music is my very favourite thing. It acts as a tool to help me evoke the mood of a specific 'scene' inside my brain. I even learned to make myself cry on cue. I think I'm a very dramatic person. In my family this is made to seem like a bad thing and they've stopped taking me seriously now because they say I'm 'too dramatic.' They laugh at me and joke about me being a 'flake' and treat me like I'm not important. In my daydreams I'm important. People actually care what I think. Often when I'm not daydreaming I think to myself how sad I am because I live half a life in my head but I know I could never really stop. I know it's a response to the sheer hopelessness I sometimes feel, especially with my family. I should stop but I don't want to. Stopping would be admitting defeat. Stopping would be admitting that nothing will ever change and that I'll always be seen as the unimportant unlikable, unlovable person that they see me as. I can't do that.