Sweet relief...

[Ella]

I'm sure this the typical response you see on this website, the sweet relief that comes from knowing you are not alone. It's the truth. I just assumed I was really @#$&*^$ weird. Or crazy, whichever explanation suited my fancy that day. When I was young girl, I would create mythical  kingdoms in my mind and play with  toothbrushes and combs. It was all so real and I enjoyed it immensely.

When I was in 1st grade I created my first "character" or whatever you want to call it. It was a teenage girl who embodied everything I wanted to be. She was the heroine to my adventures. I spent hours everyday daydreaming, creating characters with complex back stories, perfecting the setting in my mind, the list goes on. As I grew older I ditched the teenage girl and created new ones who are still in my daydreams today. There are four main characters who interact with each other in different ways depending on the particular story line. I also have several supporting characters who are regulars to my fantasy. I also daydream about myself succeeding in life, stuck in terrifying circumstances, and other extreme situations. For the most part I tend to stick to my characters. 

The attachment I have to them is embarrassing. I've spent so many years basically nurturing them into complex individuals. To say I have a special attachment would be putting it lightly. Sometime my daydreams make feel emotions I can hardly experience in real life. I hate it and love it. I love the fantasy  it's comforting and exciting. I hate it because it can take over my life. It makes me feel weird and to put it blatantly like  a freak. I mentioned my daydreams to a classmate in grade school and the look she gave me filled me with shame. So I figured it was just me. People look at me and just assume I'm this normal person. I have quite a bit of friends and have fun. But this excessive daydreaming isolates me. Reading and music are triggers and can cause me to get lost in mind. My friends will be speaking to me but it's like they're not even there. They punch me on the shoulder and tell me I have that "weird look" on my face again.  There has been quite  a bit of trauma in my life.  I'm sure a therapist would label it as a coping mechanism. 

I'm sorry for my useless ranting and weird admissions. It just feels nice to know I'm not alone.

[Dusty]

Not useless ranting or weird admissions xD That's what blog posts are for haah!!

Thanks for sharing, I totally agree about feeling emotions I've been unable to feel in real life situations o.o Everything in my DDs is just so much more beautiful and exciting... the real world is always disappointing in comparison :C

[Ella]

Thanks for all the warm welcomes! You guys all seem really nice here.

[Iris]

Welcome Ella, it's so good to know, that we are not alone.

[Alvy]

Nice indeed