Sigh of Relief

[Tatiana]

Probably a day or so ago i actually discovered the term "Maladaptive Daydreaming". When i googled it i was so shocked at how the description matched what i've been going through for about 7 years now. My main trigger is music. I pace in my room every day for hours listening to music and my mind going to another place. Until the other day before i finally talked to my mom about it, i thought that most of my family just assumed that i was dancing to music in my room, but it turns out that my mom suffers from it too, it was more intense when she was younger but she says she still daydreams a lot and has short paces back and forth, mainly when she cleans. I wonder if anyone else has parents who suffer from it too? She thought that i might have gotten it from her, she thought maybe i watched her pace when i was younger but i honestly do even remember seeing her doing it. So i doubt i got it from seeing her because it only started in middle school not when i was very young. I didn't even have imaginary friends or play with barbies that much. 

Along with music being a trigger, books , tv, and movies also make me want to pace to music. If i don't have music a lot of the times i can't day dream, with the exception the ones i have right before i go to bed sometimes, but that habit had dwindled down a bit since i was in a relationship, but it's gradually starting again now that it ended a few months ago. 

Last fall was my first year at college and i thought that maybe i would pace and daydream as much because i would be in a room with another person so i couldn't do it. And that was the case for a few weeks, but then it transferred over to excessive walking. The university i go to is large-five campuses with shuttle buses to get students around. It came to the point where i would avoid taking the shuttles as much as i could and walk across the campuses as long as i could listening to music while in a fantasy. I was addicting, and i would do it no matter what the weather was. But if i didn't have music then i would find the quickest way to get where i needed to go. 

It's very addicting to me. If i can't pace for a long period of time i become anxious and agitated. I have to find different things to keep me distracted from wanting to do it, such as watching films or working out. This summer especially, i have become addicted to watching tons of films on netflix and i've notices i have been pacing less, but i still do it for a couple hours each day. On and off. 

It hasn't ruined my life or gotten in the way much, when i need to get work done i know how to put myself in the corner of the library and focus. Although i'm not entirely sure if it will ever go away because even when i'm on vacation or not home or at school and i can't pace i have these mini pacing OCD scenes where i walk back and forth a couple times while i'm visualizing something in my head and i have to force myself to stop, but it doesn't happen often so it doesn't concern me much. 

My mom dealt with her MD by writing novels and sci fi stories when she was younger, and was on her way to publishing them until she lost them or something. I used to be into writing but i just kind of fell out of it i guess. I kind of wouldn't mind doing a couple short stories here and there though. Maybe i'll write a little something until this summer time passes by and school starts up again. 

It's very weird talking about this, and i still don't think i could go into detail about the things i conjure up in my head on here because i haven't spoken to anyone except my mom about this. I really thought i was alone and just suffering from a weird habit. But when i found this site i was so relieved that there was a name for what is happening to me and others that have it too. It fells good to write about though. I think it'll take a while before i could actually talk to a person face-to-face about it. For some reason i tear up...maybe because i don't talk about it much. Bu it's great to know there are others :)

[Tatiana]

To Sara: it's good that you can focus and get good grades! i'm happy my MD doesn't get in my way when it comes to school, but it still is tiring trying to block it out sometimes. It sounds like maybe you're dad could have it but just in a different form like my mom. She told me she would pace around the table when she was younger or sing when she should daydream lol She's also quiet sometimes like your dad but not as much as i am. I guess she was more quiet when she was younger. Maybe you should talk to your dad a bit about it :)

J Noland: Thank you, i was kind of hesitant to speak to her at first but she is a very open and understanding person. We often talk about our daydreams now and characters we would create if we started writing. It feels nice to let it out to someone and i'm glad it could be her. I'm sorry to hear about your father, i think a lot of people go through periods of MD too! And some of us grow out of it because of different hobbies that distract and some of us just become addicted to that place that we can go to relax :) 

[LostSoul99]

It must be a relief that atleast you don't have to hide your MD from your mom. It's really brave of you to talk to your mom about it. I often wonder if my dad had it. I know if I did get MD or the traits that an Maladaptive daydreamer usually has, its from my dad's side. Although, my dad never listened to music or watched a whole lot of tv, I feel that if he did, he could've been or was a maladaptive daydreamer. He used to zone out like I do alot. He's a quiet person like I am, and he gets anxious around people. I know that I do not have ADD because although I have phases where I do zone out, when I need to concentrate, I can concentrate and I also get good  grades. I remember him telling me how all of the dreams that he had as a child came true. So he must've visualized scenerios as a child. He also paces like I do. He doesn't pace to music like I do, of course. Just so you know, I'm muslim. And sometimes I would find him pacing while he read the quran(a holy book for muslims), when he could've just sat down and read it like most people. Also, my cousin from his side has Aspergers syndrome and Maladaptive daydreamers do have some symptoms from Aspergers syndrome. And afew of my other cousins and some of my uncles from his side are just as quiet as I am. They don't like to be around people. Those cousins dropped out of high school and I heard from my mom that they just couldn't focus and often they would just leave school and roam around. I don't know whether they have ADD or  MD like I do or why they would drop out of school like that but one thing is sure, I got MD from my dad's side of the family.

[J Noland]

Hello, very brave of you to talk to your mom and explain what you are going through! It's interesting that your mom is also an MDer. I often wonder if my father was, he past away many years ago but I really think he could have been. Sometimes I wonder if just about everyone goes through a period of MD at some time in their lives and then only some of us keep the habit going and expand it. Nice to hear these stories, thank you for sharing! Jen