Random thoughts.

[Jodie Sparks]

Unfortunately, when I told my therapist about my daydreams more likely to be a second life in my mind, she didn't take me serious. She simply passed on to another topic. But I think I have to explain things further next time, e.g. crying when my main character experiences some bad stuff, laughing and even talking to myself while daydreaming. I will print out some information about MD and show my therapist.

Sometimes I am in control of my MD but as soon as I play one video game (since months!) I am immediately trapped in the tiny little space between the real world and my daydreams. At the beginning I can easily switch between both worlds but of course my mind creates much more interesting places to be...

Can you imagine that I once was one of the most popular girls at school? Everyone seemed to like me and I had a bunch of friends! But one day everything has changed. About five years ago someone died and it overwhelmed me that much that I spent most of the time crying. A few months ago I realized that it wasn't his death that has changed me. It had all started in my childhood when my parents kept arguing and blaming me for their relationship issues. So the person who died became my idol, my ideal father actually. I spent hours, days daydreaming about him being my father, caring for me, loving me, making me laugh, etcetera. That's how I slowly lost connection to real life. I stopped seeing my friends and even talking.

MD is not completely bad. You're creative, so creative! But when you're too much into it waking up can be horrifying. There was a time I wanted to die. I wanted to die in this world just to finally move my body into the fake world. I really believed that it would happen.

One the one day I want to get out, I want it to stop.
One the other day I tell myself that I don't need anyone to be happy. I have family, friends and lovers in my mind, that's enough.

Time passes so fast. I am so old already, getting older every day. If I want to make something out of my life and stop wasting it, I have to start NOW. But I cannot succeed as long as I am on my own.
My therapist is the only one to know about my MD but doesn't take it serious. I cannot tell my family or a friend.

[Luis S]

Today i had my first session with my therapist and i told him about my daydreams and about my situation. He seen to understand and told me that have an anxiety problem. For me it does make sense because since i started to worry my daydreaming has increased and it worries me. I still have to continue to go to my therapist. I hope i can get passed this situation and hope you do too