question about dating and MDD:

[Kelsey]

I apologize if this is personal for a few of you but I was wondering what some of your dating lives are like? This has been on my mind recently because I've been going to a lot of family gatherings and it is always the same thing.. everyone shows up with their significant other at the time, even my cousins that are younger than me. As far as my aunts and uncles/grandparents are aware of I have never been in a relationship.

The thing is, I am almost twenty years old and I have really only had one boyfriend. My relationship with this guy was in March of last year and lasted a MONTH because I was too afraid to open up to him in order to move our short relationship anywhere. I had to break up with him and I still don't really understand why. There are a lot of possible reasons I wasn't comfortable and I'm pretty sure one of them is that my daydreams have given me false hope that I will end up with the "perfect" person due to all the mushy romantic dreams I have had in the past.

So I am curious if this is common or just me, hopefully somebody will let me know what it is like for them. /:  I am just really frustrated with a) generally being afraid of men because of my social anxieties developed throughout the years, b) not being comfortable even when I find someone because they aren't what I imagine them to be.

[Jennifer]

Hey there. :) So...Okay, this is going to sound REALLY stupid to anyone who reads my comment, but if you knew the entire story, it wouldn't sound as bad as it does. So. I'm 15 years old. About a year ago, I met a 14 year old boy over YouTube. We had nearly everything in common.-Music, views on society and life itself, poetry, photography, and we really, really clicked the first time we really 'met' and messaged back and forth on YouTube. He asked me to be the singer of his band, and I jumped at the idea. It has been my dream to be a famous singer ever since I was 12 years old, and of course, that's who I was in my daydreams-and still am today-and I thought it was SO cool that I was being offered something as cool as that in real life. The only problem is that he lives in Arizona and I live in Maryland...5 hours apart, and that's by plane. But he recorded the music and instruments, sent them to me through Facebook and email, then I wrote the lyrics and recorded the vocals and posted it to our official YouTube channel. Well...That was last year, around June or July. Like, literally a year ago we met. And in January I admitted I liked him. We've been talking for awhile by then, and we were more than 'band members'. We were really good friends. We Skyped and laughed and joked and talked about music and such. We knew each other really well, and we really hit it off. Then, a couple weeks ago, probably about 2 weeks ago, he asked me, "Can we be together?" I screamed and said yes, LOL. He even wrote a song about me:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk-WZVeeA6I&feature=results_main

And I wrote a song about him, letting him know I felt the same way: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRcc6qTr-aQ

We're still together, and he asked me out about 9 days ago...We plan to be together all throughout high school, get into the same college, make music, and tour the world. xD Yeah...I know. Stupid. It's funny...My entire life I didn't believe in 'Love.' Never. Not even for a second. Not once. And then I met him and he suddenly changed that. We talk every night, and I've never felt this way before about anyone. Of course I'm only 15, but you know...Stupid teens. :P But we plan to send our music to a record company and see if they can do anything for us. If they do...We're off to tour the world. xD Please don't judge!  

[ashlee]

dude i was the one that told you to make an account on here! lol
im going into grade 12 and ive only had one boyfriend and it was in grade 8...(wasnt even a legit reltionship lol)
and it sucks because everyone dating someone exept for me :/
sometimes when im upset or going through something ill make one of my characters go through the same thing to make me feel better, but they,re all dating someone too. there relationships are all perfect and i know ill never have one like that............

[Kelsey]

Thank you for all your answers. (: It means a lot to be communicating with people who can understand me to some degree hah. It's also nice to help distinguish what is a product of constantly daydreaming and what is more likely just me. I look forward to reading and making posts in the future.

DustyAnimals, I am going to be twenty in a couple of months and I understand everything you are saying. I have little experience as well and feel the same way!

And Roger, I was being superficial. Completely superficial and I hated myself for it. I know I was physically attracted to him because I wouldn't have wanted to date him so badly if I wasn't.. I would even daydream about him from time to time. We had been friends for four years before we started dating and he was four years older than me so it wasn't just a typical one month relationship. He was moving fast, I think he was already going to break out the :I love you"s, and I didn't have the nerve to tell him to stop. So I suppose I was wrong when I said I didn't really know the reason I broke up with him I just get frustrated trying to type it all out. /: That is exactly my problem though, I can daydream about being in an honest and comfortable relationship and I can dream about dating and all that good stuff but when I try to make my daydreams a reality I discover I have more anxiety than I expected and it holds me back from making any moves. It's like that with every guy I meet. So I guess it's not so much about that one relationship because it was my first after all and I figured I may have just been being superficial. I just wanted other daydreamers sides to their story so that I could see if I found significant similarities, and I did I can agree with all of these responses.

What bothered me the most was the fact that I am older than a girl normally is when she has only had one boyfriend in her life. But as I read the other responses I remember how stupid I sound when I say stuff like that and the time will come when it comes. I just need to work on understanding my reality is not always going to work the way it does in my daydreams. I refuse to leave every relationship because I am expecting it to work out differently, so I guess that is just something I will have to work on.

[Dusty]

Hey Kelsey, welcome to WildMinds!

I don't know how old you are but I'm 20 and I've only had one boyfriend too, to be completely honest, I felt very little for him relative to my DD crushes. I'm just trying to be optimistic and hope there is a real boy out there I could have feelings for, accept that they won't be perfect.

And it's not a bad thing not to have dating experience. I'd never kissed, dated or had a boyfriend until I was 19, and I found him on a dating site. It doesn't matter when it happens or how often, quality is what matters :3.

I'm glad you found this site, and I'm sure many of us will have had common experiences as you!

Cleo

[♥]

i'm a little afraid to date tbh because I've set unrealistically high standards due to too many perfect and romantic guys I've created over the years. ;s