Paranoid?

[Thandimanillon]

It's been a while since I posted here, because I got caught up participating in a sleep study aimed at getting me back into something resembling a normal sleep pattern. It's going ok, but the sleep deprivation stage was pure hell. 5 hours is not enough.

Anyway, so I got to thinking about how much my mood fluctuates, and how often this is reflected in my daydreams and just how much I rely on daydreams to balance out my mood. This troubles me. Somedays, daydreaming is the only thing between me and several bottles of pills and alcohol. Other days, it's the only thing between me and ripping someone's head off, verbally. And then there are the days when daydreaming is the only thing between me and bankruptcy by shopping spree. So, I started keeping track of my mood and now I'm paranoid that I might be bipolar.

I go through phases where I couldn't make a decision if someone's life was on the line. Other times, I'm gung-ho, take charge and seize the day. My mood drifts. Several weeks of happy, chirpy, irritable Thandi, followed by several weeks of meh, then a slump few months of depressed, interspersed with days of let me die. Which then rolls back on itself until we reach happy again.

Some days, my daydreams worsen my mood and keep me in a funk. This is also a bit distressing, as those are the times I feel most out of control. I mean, if I can control my own mind, how the heck am I supposed to control my life?

Let me just say, I will have a meltdown if someone makes a flippant comment about women and hormones. Probably not on here, because freaking out via Internet takes too long and (usually) I've calmed down by the time I've finished writing and would feel bad about posting it.

Also, it's not my thyroid, my doctor checked while investigating a different health issue. Turns out I have haemoglobin E trait.

What I would like to know is this: Am I being a paranoid hypochondriac responding to normal mood changes in an exaggerated manner, or is this something I should seriously pursue with my doctor?

[Iris]

Let your body be checked thoroughly, before you go to your psychologist. I have terrible mood-swings, if I don't take thyroxid (because of hashimoto) and progesterol and do sports. Does anyone in your family need thyroxid? The blood-test does not always give a clear result - if in doubt, go to an expert. At the moment my mood is also not stable. I think it is because I didn't work out for the last two weeks.

I know nothing about haemoglobin E.

[taffle]

You should probably consult your doctor about this.