Older person with MD

[Susan P]

Hi, everyone.  I'm new here.  I'm 55, and two days ago I realized that I've been an addictive daydreamer as long as I can remember.  I'm an ACOA, and the MD probably started as a response to my family environment, but people have been calling me on it (in one way or another) since the beginning, and it's definitely caused me some problems with interpersonal relationships.

I also have long-standing depression (currently responding very well to exercise and diet:  no meds at the moment) and possibly some autism spectrum traits or FAE.  Let's just say that I don't consider myself completely neurotypical.  But hey, who is?  Normal's overrated.

By most measures, I'm extremely successful; when I told my husband about MD, he said, "But you're so productive."  And that's true, but I also spend entirely too much time in my head, thinking about things that won't and can't happen.   Some involve real people I know, including romantic fantasies even though I'm happily married (and faithful!).  Some involve future scenarios I welcome or fear.  Some are about fictional characters.  Most include some Mary Sue aspect.  Lots of stories of rescuing or being rescued, which I gather is typical of MD, but sometimes I'll get myself completely wound up in and stressed out over a story I'm telling myself, and I definitely lose a ton of time to this disorder.

So, questions:

1.  Is anyone else here middleaged or older?

2.  My daydreaming involves a lot of different stories and plotlines, some of which are mre persistent than others, rather than just one; does that fit with current understanding of the condition?

3.  I'm a big fan of 12 Step groups and I gather that there aren't real-time ones, yet, for this condition, although I plan to head over to the forum topic about that.  I've just started, again, going to an Al-Anon Adult Children meeting; can anyone recommend other types of 12 Step  that might be especially helpful?

4.  I don't want to go on meds, but I'm trying to figure out ways to address this.  I've read a bit about it, and will read more here, but any tips would be welcome.

Thank you all so much. I'm glad I found this place.

[Susan P]

Thanks, Roel!  I'm trying to be done with it.  It's not easy. Very old tapes.

[Roel]

 "Mainly, I'm trying to be as compassionate to myself as my imaginary BFFs would be"

That's a great approach and I wish you good luck with that. I'm trying to do that too since recently. I'm done with always shouting at myself ;)

[Susan P]

Hi, Aquarius!  Thanks for the welcome.  I already write and do some visual work, mostly in fiber arts (I spin and knit and weave), although I haven't had much time for either in the last few months.   And yes, the compensating part concerns me, too; that's what I'm trying to work on, with some success.  Interesting side-effect:  as I consciously cut down on daytime DD, I seem to remember more of my sleeping dreams.  Has anyone else experienced that?  I'm also trying to tell myself that the internalized voices telling me I'm a terrible person -- byproducts of childhood bullying and emotional abuse and social rejection in adulthood -- are, at this point, as imaginary as the supporting players in my Mary Sue fantasies, even if they had actual historical roots.  :-/  That actually seems to be helping a little; it's a work in progress.  Mainly, I'm trying to be as compassionate to myself as my imaginary BFFs would be!

[Aquarius]

I'm 37, and I know that MDing steals precious hours, days and weeks. but the gift of analytical thinking and creativity has been just profound. I can be both, I am in process of being both.

At the age we are in, say anywhere older than 30, MD is either a coping mechanism or a compensating mechanism. The Compensating part scares me; that I will create scenarios in my head instead of trying to seek the life I want. So thats the part I have to keep a constant check on.

You don't need meds of any kind, this isn't a disease. You seem like a self-aware person and you've even told your husband about it, that is just awesome. You need to consider yourself as a visualizer.

And oh you need to take up painting or writing if you aren't doing that already. Welcome to the community Susan

[Roel]

They change over time yes, and I switch from one to the other. But I never replace them. i just keep making more and more, but I always come back to my old ones and remake them :) It's usually a span of a few days or weeks. But a looot more in total for each daydream since I keep coming back to them.

[Susan P]

Thanks, Roel!  And have yours changed over time?  Mine tend to persist for anywhere from several months to a few years, and then get replaced by others.

[Roel]

for 2:

I have so many plotlines some of which include even more plotlines. They are all seperate though they can come together or diverge at random moments whene I feel like it. I've been told it fits with the condition. All though I've also been told my collection of plots is more compicated than thos of others :/

[Susan P]

Hi, Paddy!  Actually, I'm an adult child of three alcoholics:  my mother joined AA when I was five (and stayed sober for the rest of her life), but my father and stepmother were alcoholic, too.  I don't drink because I didn't want to play that particular game of Russian Roulette, but I guess the addiction bug bit me anyway.  It's amazing to me that I only realized this DD pattern a few days ago:  I've been in various kinds of therapy for a lot of my life and think of myself as very self-aware, but we all have our blind spots, right?