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I’m a 34 year old male who has always daydreamed as long as I could remember. But just the past 2 years it’s gotten to a concerning point. The vast majority of my day is spent daydreaming. I’m an idealized version of myself with many famous friends and a famous girlfriend. In my real life, I’m married to a wonderful woman and we just had a baby boy. I thought that having this new incredibly happy distraction would cut down my daydreaming, but it hasn’t. I’ve gotten to the point today where I’m realizing that I am way too emotionally invested in it. I put more of my emotional capacity into daydreaming than I do my real life sometimes. I have no idea why I have such a compulsion for it, but I want to stop. I want to be a better in my real life, my wife and son deserve it. Does anyone have any tips or anything on how to cut down or control it? This isn’t something I want to admit to my wife because I’m afraid she’ll take it as I’m not happy with her even though I am. I just need to get it under control.

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Comment by Kitt Coltrane on February 17, 2019 at 11:12pm
I don’t recommend sharing this with your wife, as it will definitely change the dynamics of your relationship. I’ve managed world building and other correlating fantasies with a very happy marriage, a career, my own business, friendships galore, a very social life and financial prosperity. I’ve not been unhappy with my life, just always liked variety. However, I wouldn’t believe anyone if I didn’t know what this is about that I’m satisfied. My spouse would be crushed.
My fantasies are more about being an immortal being saving worlds and fighting alongside warriors I’m close with. Not a chance I’ll be fighting dragons, have elemental powers, have sex on a cloud in this life, but my spouse doesn’t need to know anything about any of this. Perhaps they would think I’m crazy, or perhaps they would feel like I don’t appreciate the great life I have or that I’m unhappy with them. Who knows? I only know I wouldn’t trade my life for my fantasy or hurt my real people with them thinking they aren’t enough to make me happy. My fantasies are just escapism and I have only done it on my own time, never trading time with them to escape. However, that’s just my experience and I’m aware there are different degrees to MD. Good luck!
Comment by Mike on January 22, 2019 at 7:50am
This is great info, thank you!
Comment by Darien Figueroa on January 21, 2019 at 10:17pm

I don't know if you have read it or not but here is a article about MD that is very helpul: https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com

It is very difficult to live a normal life with MD, I'm just 19 and I can feel how overwhelming it is even though nobody depends on me. You have to be strong for your boy and create a world around him that is pleasant and happy so that he doesn't have to escape everyday like we do. I sincerely hope that you get better.

  

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