My Experience With Daydreaming

[Top Cat]

This is my first blog post here so I don't know if I'll be able to stick to any particular structure but here goes.

I just wanted to sort of introduce myself but since I'm socially awkward (especially when it comes to personal details) I'd rather just jump in with what I experience. I'm seventeen so I'm still in school right now (I've just finished my AS exams) and studying for my exams have been a nightmare, especially since I'm taking Psychology (ironic huh?) which requires remembering a lot of details and I've yet to master any form of control concerning my daydreaming. My mind likes to wander and when I'm bored witless from writing out notes and revision cards, all it seems to want to do is drift off into this other world I've created within my head. 

From what I've read so far of other people's experiences, Maladaptive Daydreaming has a running theme of realism so I'm not entirely sure if this is what I've got. For me, I've created a world in my head full of every type of magical and mythological creature you an think of; Angels, Demons, Witches, Warlocks - anything really. Unlike some of the other accounts I've read, I always maintain the same character role yet sometimes my character overlaps with myself in my actual life and real people get involved. In real life I live with both of my parents and my two younger sisters but my other self, in my world of magic, has only her brother after her parents and younger sister were killed. In this world, I'm an Angel who lives amongst humans with my brother and is friends with Fae and half-human/half-angel characters that I dubbed 'Grey-Wings'. 

With another world for me to live in I can understand why my mind wouldn't want to stay focused on reality despite it being kind of important if I wish to pass my exams. However I think I must worry my friends (not so much my family as I don't spend enough time with them for them to notice it too much, that or they just dismiss my behaviour) since I tend to react physically to the things going on in my head. I flinch, talk/mumble/mouth words; I don't pace around or move quite so obviously but small movements indicate my non-presence.

My school counsellor keeps telling me though that it's nothing more than a coping mechanism to escape my family problems which I hope you won't mind if I don't elaborate. Somehow though I just can't bring myself to brush it off as just that, it feels too immense and real to just be a coping mechanism since I've always used reading and music to escape. That kind of brings me to triggers I suppose. My most frequent triggers are music and simple peace & quiet but my mind doesn't seem to want to stick to that reasoning and drifts off whenever it pleases usually.

Since I don't feel like I have a clear way to explain whatever my brain is doing, I've only told a few people including a couple of my friends who are very understanding and incredibly open minded as well as my school counsellor after I had an anxiety attack. I can't bring myself to tell my parents though especially since I'd only be able to give a vague description of my situation - I mean, if I can't bring myself to come out to them with a pretty clear explanation how can I even imagine to broach this subject?

I realise that this is a rather long post so I want to apologise but I really needed to get this off my chest.

[Blanca Luna]

I find it curious how you have half-angel half-human characters in your daydreams, I do too! But I named them half-bloods (I got the idea from the book Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince). Welcome!:)