Middle of my exam

[MedStudent]

I have my exams in a month. I feel like I could have achieved so much more if it werent for MD. When I was in school at the peak of MD I used to get blackouts and migraines and yet I would not be able to stop daydreaming. I was a class topper in school until MD hit. It all started so innocently until it completely dominated my mind and hence my life. And then my grades started to progressively drop until in 8th grade I got a zero in my math mid term exam. I had never in my life gotten a zero in life until then. I was thoroughly embarrassed and humiliated. It took a real blow to my self-esteem which was already low at that point. It took enormous amount of willpower just to do basic things like brushing my teeth or taking a bath without succumbing to the crave to daydream.

MD is an addiction and anyone who say otherwise has not experienced the disease. It controls you. The crave is so irresistible and it makes real life seem so mediocre and boring that one would reckon that there is no point in experiencing mediocrity when one life the best life right in their minds. But that thought is probably the reason I was daydreaming non stop for so many years. I have learnt from experience that being grateful for the mediocre things in life keeps reduces the symptoms in a progressive and substantial manner. 

I also decided to look at MD as diabetes. I mean if you get diabetes you can take the medications and do the life style modifications to keep in control but you can never really cure it. You have it for life. I guess MD is just like that. The life style modification being the complete avoidance of stimulative substances and the medication being meditation.

I really hope that I clear my exam and just come out the other side. It would make all the hardwork worth it.