After years of thinking I was crazy I finally got to meet people who understand what I am actually going through

I can’t remember when it all started but I was very young in my early childhood. I just wanted to be alone and day dream create my perfect world where I can be a superhero. I would spend hours simultaneous playing all the characters I have created in my mind. Once I had an imaginary boyfriend whom I ended up telling my friends about they never met him coz he never existed but I made him so real up until to this day my friend still count him as my ex when we chatting, lol. MD is a bad disorder but for me it helped me to escape the reality of my abusive father, the fact that you were the ugliest in the family, later being raped at the age of 13. I never felt any pain form all that bcoz I had my other world where I was the prettiest lady ever and my father adore me in that world.

When you get older it gets worse then I found myself spending days in doors playing my other world. Every time someone hurt me in the real world I move to the other world to cancel that scenario. When I was 21 it was worse and the fact that I did not know what this is what making things worse. It led to many attempted suicide that people did not understand why coz I am actually a cheerful person who always offers advice. I kept silence but the silence nearly killed me. I am 26 now and only had one boyfriend whom I dated for 7 years when he broke up with him everyone expected me to fall into pieces but I did not bcoz I created a world that he comes crawling back to me. I must admit MD is an escape from the pain in the real world. Can you believe that I kept my mother alive in my daydreams and did not what to admit she was dead!

I believe the is something different and special about MD people. Anyway I am so glad to have find people who can actually relate with me.

Currently I am studying and full time employed.

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Comment by Bonnie on October 30, 2013 at 11:16pm

Hi Guys

 

Thanks for all your reponses. lol It feels great to know I am not the only one with MD, finally I can actually explain what I am suffering from and it has a NAME!

Comment by Stormy on October 30, 2013 at 9:03pm

Oh, my heart just pours for you. You sound like such a wonderful, upbeat person but who holds so much pain deep inside. The DD has always been that comfort for me. My escapism. I could deal with my hermit like life - my fears and anxieties - because I could just get sucked into my familiar world with all my people in it. I too feel like this guy in my dd's (who has taken many names and looks and such through the years but at the heart is essentially the SAME man) is like an ex. Like someone I still am close to in my life. He's always there. I love how you put it. It's SO like that! I get it!

You just sound like an awesome person. Glad you joined the site!

Comment by David W on October 30, 2013 at 2:43pm
Best friend not beat friend lol
Comment by David W on October 30, 2013 at 2:41pm
No Bonnie, not alone, I too was abused by my father and used my other world to escape. There I had a different father and was the coolest kid in school, I also had( still have lol) an imaginary girlfriend who loves me just the way I am, well the way my other self is I guess. Sometimes I even imagine the other me is daydreaming about being me lol, he has it too easy and good sometimes so I made him have MD too! So cool to see so many people from all over the world who would be my beat friend if I ever met them! Take care Bonnie
Comment by Iris on October 29, 2013 at 1:00am

Welcome, Bonnie. It is so sad to read what you have been going through and no wonder that you escaped into a fantasy-world. I'm glad for you that you can study and work, this is not easy for daydreamers. Don't give up, you are not alone with this problem.

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