just out of control

[simran k]

I recently discovered that what is happening to me is a disorder. I have been goin through it since 6 years or so without having any clue about what was happening to me. Its such a disturbance at times. I have lost my life due to all these stupid fantasy worlds! No friends no goals no aims! Just imagining and laughing. Ofcourse i enjoy doing it and i find pleasure in it. I am addicted to it. Its creative and i write many things and people like it. But what is the use of living in a fantasy world designed by you when your real world turns out to be good for nothing. All this is happening due to my past. Because i feel lonely. I hate myself for all this.

[Teagan Heart]

Please don't hate yourself. and don't feel lonely. You are not alone when it comes your probles as you can see. God is holding you up. You gotta let Him help you!

[simran k]

Thats very sweet of u elina.. m always there for u too.

[Elīna]

You are not alone in this, that is all I can tell you right now. Wish I could give you a recipe to quit it, but I'm still at the battle myself ... Don't be hard on yourself, know that you are really brave, because I know for sure that it's insanely hard to keep up with your real life when you have MD. We are here for you!

[simran k]

thanks shelly. u r vry kind.

[ShellyBelly]

Don't hate yourself. It is clearly a sign that we MDD'ers are a special creative bunch that this world just doesn't fit so we create our own. It is an escape from the confines around us. I have been finding out that productivity is what keeps me from being angry at myself. When I DD while doing something productive like housework or other necessary things, I feel much better. It is hard at times though because to really feel the power of my fantasy, I have to pace. I am learning to re-channel that energy into something more productive. I managed for several hours today while baking for the holiday. Try it. And keep your head up! :-)