Introductions: Hi, I'm Photosynthesis

[Lydia Rauch]

I have too many identities to keep track of them all. You could call me Photosynthesis or some shorter form of it. Like Pho. Or whatever you want. I really don't mind what you call me, exactly.

I'm an aspiring writer.

I saw this website on a Yahoo article. I had researched into the slightest dabble of excessive daydreams at times when I wonder why I'm different from everyone, and finding this website makes me realize just how little I am alone.

I'm sixteen years old with no history of abuse. I was an only child growing up with only a mother that worked often until I was six years old when my step-father came into the picture, and soon after my half-sister. By that time, it had already become common practice for me to immerse myself into daydreams in order to stop feeling so as to stop feeling so alone. I began with pulling movies into my head and adding myself into them. I took pleasure in acting them out in play, with invisible actors all around me that kept the plot going. At school, I was so accustomed to my own realm of daydreaming that I didn't want to play with other children. I would wander around the playground during recess like a ghoul, horribly miserable because I didn't feel comfortable around so many children. A girl would always follow me around, and I am ashamed to admit that I went to even bullying to keep her away. She was persistent, though. She is probably the only reason I have friendships and relationships, albiet hazy ones.

I'm probably not crazy yet simply because I began to envelop myself in the fantastic realm of writing. I daydream in school about my books, forming them vividly in my head down to the tiniest detail before I go to write them down. At home, however, I have taken to shrouding myself in a life that I am included in. I revert back to my childhood, taking bits and pieces of characters that make me feel comfortable and happy from other movies, video games, books. No matter what I daydream, though, at home it is always with my lifelong companion Arcade Gannon, who I stole from the game Fallout: New Vegas. I gave him an entire story line beyond even that of the creators gave him, brought him to life, and together we are inseparable.

Occasionally, I will daydream of my future. I'm in a white house. Alone, usually, though lately I have added a new character: my husband. He has dark hair and glasses. Occassionally, an adopted child can be seen flitting here and there. I'm happy. Content.

Mostly I stick with my books and my Arcade Gannon fantasies.

During school, though, it is beginning to become a problem. I don't want to give my daydreams up, which is probably a unique trait for this website, but it's true. Even so, I don't listen to most of my teachers because I'm so deep within my daydreams. Even times when I try to listen I find myself relapsing back to those worlds that are so much more interesting... so much more welcoming...

I've managed to get all of my friends used to my condition by now. Early high school they began to notice a lot more that I phase out so much of the time. I took no time in explaining that I simply daydream all the time, sometimes even while I'm talking I'll picture a slight film over what I'm seeing, where my characters continue to interact with each other. Now, in my junior year, they've stopped asking me "Hey, are you okay? You look out of it." and just learned to continue on.

So, as the not-so-famous Photosynthesis, or Tayausia, or Lydia, or whatever the heck you want to call me, I'm new here. That's my life. I like eating chocolate at inconvenient times.

Tatty bye