i think i may have negative SCHIZOPHRENIA

[jude gayan]

I am now 24. In some how I felt that I was different. But it never was a big problem in my day today life because I thought I have fulfilled my needs. And I thought it was some personality issue.  Because of the social issues which I am facing now in my day to day life, (in past few (7) years) I began to think.

Recently I am incapable of clear thinking, interpret of thoughts to words, social gatherings with no previous experiences - specially females, always I can't hold to a one thought its coming and going (its day dreaming that cannot control - I know I am dreaming when it happening, I understand that I am not living in the practical world), hard to concentrate specially when I am being tense (in common 8/24 in a day I am in tense situation). Not only but also I like loneliness, always start having some fights with friends (I feel they are on to me), I cannot control my thoughts in my day to day life.

“I am fed up with my life I cannot understand how the world works”

So I thought backward of my life I think have some mental disorder (which no one could notice). My aunt had some kind of a serious mental disorder in her life.

This is the stages of my life,

Year 12 – 13

 In the early stages of my life I felt that I am different of my colleagues. I think different, I see some social issues in different manner that my parents and friends do not. In school-primary I spent some isolated life, lack of sports, few friends and lack of confidence. 

Year 13 – 16

Had friends, lack of social life and focused on education the most. I was not in the practical world

Year 16 – 18

My education is focused on mathematics. And it it is easy to do mathematics – calculations (solving issues) because I think of my habit of day dreaming. I felt socially sustained and felt some self confident. But I think I failed in the practical world.  

Year 19 - now 

I attend to the university; my social life style has been changed. Day dreaming incidents happening always and I can’t control it. I am not living in this practical world     

[Eretaia]

Self-diagnosis is beyond hilarious. I also thought I was schizoid and avoidant and schizophrenic and that I had social anxiety and narcissistic personality disorder and so on - and then I went to a psychiatrist and turns out I have none, lmao. Except, maybe, an inattentive ADD and a mild dysthymia which I have yet to confirm - and which can cause quite similar problems to those you mentioned and, moreover, fuel MD.

Majority of us experience problems with concentration, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, social withdrawal, social awkwardness and personally, I also find it difficult to word my thoughts as well but it's due to my ADD and depression because they constantly screw up my thought processes.

So, don't worry and don't jump to conclusions. There are bunch of other minor disorders (in respect to schizophrenia) which could be causing similar problems. Maybe it's just a combination of social awkwardness and MD. In either case, go to a psychiatrist and get evaluated. If it's causing you problems, just take it off your chest.