Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

I've MDD'ed pretty much my entire life and like most people here, would rather be on my own than with most other people.  I'm what you might call a high functioning person, with a university degree, good job, lovely husband, etc, and I'm incredibly grateful for my blessings.  Which makes me wonder why I'm still doing this. 

I think my MDD started as a coping mechanism for a difficult, volatile and lonely childhood.  But ultimately, I'm not a child.  And it's my own decisions, not my conditions, that shape my life.  I respect anyone who is happy with MDD - good on you for accepting yourself and this part of your personality.  But I want to, and need to, stop.  MDD is stopping me fulfil my personal destiny - it's my hideout against difficult times and my aide in procrastination.  I want to stop.  I'm going to stop.

I'm going to keep an accountability log on here to document my journey in stopping MDD - without meds, without third party help - I'm on my own, with only my personally determined values, standards and decisions. 

 

Step One: Identify triggers

 

1.  Being alone.

2. Being a passenger in a car/train/etc.

3.  Listening to music.

4.  Watching media e.g. cinema, TV, DVDs.

5.  Higher than usual triggers of anxiety.

 

Tomorrow, I'm going to try not to MDD - considering that I have a five hours long train journey with only my tablet PC for company, that's going to be a challenge; let's see how I do.

 

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Comment by Iris on October 4, 2013 at 5:32am

How was your train-journey?

For me, stopping daydreaming by my own will never worked. It made me nervous and got me in a bad mood. The only thing that helped, was accepting my feelings, my fear and sadness - not to run away from my own feelings. I also stopped my bad concious about daydreaming. In this way I could stop MDD for quite a while, it came back, but very reduced.

Comment by Mynx on October 2, 2013 at 9:03pm

That is the exact same way I feel. I'm making a challenge to stop in the next 30 days of mdd

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