I'm making myself laugh thinking about it

Hi,

I'm a new member. I have always been a daydreamer. Now I think about it it has most definitely had a negative impact on my education, career and relationships in so MANY ways.

I'm 29, live in Essex, England. 

Its 11am on a Tuesday morning and I have already envisaged myself as UK prime minister (I reopened some coal mines, opened a government-owned elite energy windmill manufacturing service and introduced a new way of taxation where an individual gets to choose where their taxes go.) After that, I went for a run - I'm now imagining i'm a funk house DJ in Sydney but I'm covert (I wear a mask when I perform) and no-one at my work knows that I am in fact all their favourite DJ, I then envisage their reactions once they find out. Moving on, I take a shower - I am now the winner of Masterchef and start a business as a private chef who makes food for the exceedingly rich and has affairs with the hot wives of my costumers. 

I have just made a list of all the fantasies that I can think of (that I've had in my adult life).  I'm coming up to my third page (A4) and I know for a fact that I'm even scratching the service. 

Its Just never-ending loop of fantasies. 

Have any of you read 'the power of now'? I think I'll take another look at that. 

What a crazy waste of time and energy ay.

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Comment by L.solace on December 18, 2020 at 12:04pm

Hi Oliver, 

I can defo relate to some of your experience with daydreaming, I started out like this - but it turned to more compulsive negative "daymares" that felt more aligned to my real life - so no longer "positive" escapism really.

I have read The Power of Now and I feel like it is a game changer for maladaptive daydreamers, especially as when reading you become more present. The only thing I found after is, what fills the time that you would have spent daydreaming? Reality can lack the highs (and lows) and emotional intensity that daydreaming involves. Anyway, if you haven't read it yet I think you would find it very insightful, it  definitely was a turning point for me. Mindfulness meditations can work well too for staying grounded,  you begin to fill more in tune with what is going on in your body, and not just mind - "Honest guys" on YouTube have really nice guided meditations - I would look specifically for mindfulness ones. 

Best wishes,

L.solace

Comment by Neil on December 7, 2020 at 1:43pm
i think your day dreams are quite delightful. not to encourage ofcourse since we're all trying to not do it or manage it. nonetheless, the MasterChef one made me smile. i can absolutely relate.

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