How does maladaptive daydreaming affect your life

[Jessica]

Hello, this first part is going to be about my experiences with maladaptive daydreaming (also sorry if there are any typos my keyboard is not the best)

Let's start at the beginning, I started out my daydreaming experiences many years ago with only one character, who traveled in different dimensions, the oc (original character) was used as an avatar, so they were basically me and had my personality emotions and rational.

Fast forward to 2020 at this point I had detached from my oc and had multiple characters, I had them go on adventures, and they were like my support characters.

Then the pandemic struck, I couldn't talk to my friends because of lockdown, and my friendships had started to deteriorated even before the virus, so I began to fall back on my characters, spending more time with them. Also at this point the main oc I had had gone from being an avatar to having their own personality and being my friend.


Then my daydreams started to affect my real life, more adventures and characters meant more problems, so I had to carry my problems as well as theirs. And all of this was covered by a layer of guilt and sadness because I was causing them pain, I was controlling them, I made their problems. I began to fell worse and got emotionally burnt out from all the problems me and my characters had, and I still feel somewhat sad.

Then things got even worse, I began to do things for my characters, like show them things. When I was daydreaming I would go up to my characters and was like "hey wanna see some of my old drawings?" And in real life I would flip through my books. I wouldn't have been looking through my books normally, it was kinda concerning but maybe it was just my brain subconsciously telling me to look at it, and besides, it wasn't hurting anything.

Then it got a little bit more of an issue, I was holding a fidget, and I was telling my characters they I picked this fidget out because it was glow in the dark (I was in a dark place at the time) and that it would be easier to see if I dropped it. Then I gave them a demonstration and dropped it. And this is when my brain went "oh no" because I had just dropped something, and I could've lost it, just to show some people that didn't exist, and that concerned me.

At this point you're probably wondering why I didn't try to stop daydreaming, after all, it seems to be affecting my life majorly. But honestly daydreaming has made me happier, I can see things and experience things that I can't do in real life, and my closest friends are there. Being truthful though, I don't think I could even try giving up daydreaming, my characters and stories are such a huge part of me, losing them would mean losing myself, and I don't even know if I want too.

Anyway, enough about me, what are your experiences with maladaptive daydreaming in real life has if been anything major? Does it cause any habits? ( I forgot to put this above but I think my maladaptive daydreaming is what causes me to bite my nails) Anyway, I'm sorry this post was so chaotic and rushed, I just really needed to vent my experiences.

Tell me if you relate to any of this, it'll be nice to know I'm not the only one.

[Kalliope]

Hello Jessica.

Your story reminds me of a book I once saw by Teal Swan, "Healing..... Loneliness" or something of that sort. It is not a book I would recommend for people who have MD generally, especially because it lacks ALL kind of grounding in science or established therapies and wildly goes exploring into MD, without calling it that, to create scenarios that might provide solutions to other issues.

However, it might give you a hint on how to cope with the new sort of interaction with your MD characters. Her main point is that a character is created in a certain scenario to portray an aspect of your mind and make it more accessible to you. She tries to explain how to create such characters, and find their scenario, and access it more easily, but you've done that essentially already.

Next, she argues that you need to "talk" to the characters, and ask them about their issues and how you can help them. Sometimes, the characters could connect and solve the problems that way. In her self-help construct, Swan intends to unearth buried conflicts and feelings and give you a storytelling possibility to identify the issues and buried feelings and maybe solve them.

If I may post some unsolicited advice, try out just that: ask the MD characters what their wish is. Maybe you can solve it, and give them some respite in trying to reach you. In the end, all of this, all the characters that wish you well and that you want to succeed, drenched in guilt, are you. You wish yourself well. You want to solve your problems. You want to find a solution for yourself. You feel sad for yourself. You lend yourself a shoulder to cry on. I hope you'll succeed to find out what really bugs your characters, what really is the problems behind the facade that is their stories, and I believe they will eagerly tell you, without trying to constrict you even more into MD.

So of course, if you silence your characters, you feel like you silence a piece of yourself, as if you 'lose yourself'. That phrase you posted really reminds me of Eretaia's posts. Have a look, her words have a way of burrowing into your mind and making you understand like no other.

Habits? Nah, nail biting hurts like hell. I liked to take long walks, jog, browse picture websites, cook or paint.

PS. Don't read Swan's book, read Eretaia if you want to make heads and tails of your MD. Her insight is more powerful, on one hand, and on the other hand Swan's has a risk to make you enamored with MD, even if the first part actually helps.