How did MD start for you?

[2cute4u24]

I'm still baffled at the fact I found this site and others like me. I've been doing this since i was maybe 7 or
8 so 20 years now and yesterday was the FIRST time I ever decided to.find out why I do this and is it normal. It all started when i was a little girl, I was an only child at the time, I was shy and had no friends and i made my dolls talk to each other, created lives for them, names the whole 9. So when I got to old to play with my toys everything went over to daydreams and it hasn't stopped since. I don't even want to go into how many lives, friends, boyfriends, etc I've made for myself. But what i do know is I barely graduated from college because daydreaming took over studying and taking notes in class. I can barely watch a movie or read a book because I daydream let alone listen to a conversation. No one would even guess this because i hide it VERY well. I also battle anxiety and depression i read that plays a part. I also pace around my place alot even if its to look out the window or move an object or walk in and out a room. I never told anyone, until this moment because I was afraid i was a nut or I would turn into cybil one day lol. I want it to stop but I don't know how to function without it. I've even got emotionally attached to these ppl who aren't real. I really think psychologists need to recognize this as a real condition. What is md like for you? Again this is my first time looking into this id love to compare experiences thanks!

[Liza Maria Medina]

Hi there, I am new here but so relieved to see I'm not the only person to suffer from MD. I started from as far back as I can remember. Not sure if a traumatic experience caused it but can only guess it resulted from parental neglect and abuse. I grew up being abused by my father and pretty much ignored by my mother. I even remember being in diapers. I must've been 4 or 5 so you can guess what kind of parents would allow their child to go so long without being potty trained.

The first fantasy I can really remember was seeing a picture of Johnny Depp on a magazine, he was real popular at the time for being on 21 Jump Street and I imagined kissing him passionately on a rooftop and being his girlfriend. Most of my early fantasies were romantic in nature but they've progressed to elements that are purely fantastical, realistic with real people I know in them and also based on books, ,movies and tv. Music has been my main trigger from the beginning and I can also be triggered by tv, books and movies if it's really good. I tend to rock back and forth a lot when I DD and get up and walk around, especially to check the window and move the blinds. I could do this all day but lately I've been experiencing terrible headaches so I decided to look into it. I couldn't believe when I found a name for it and it seemed to fit so well. When I read the symptoms I was so shocked, it was describing me to a tee.

I actually have a serious boyfriend and dog who I live with. I am also very good at hiding it but I'm afraid he sees me do weird things and I can't really explain it. I usually only DD when he's not home. If he spends too much time with me I start to get irritable which happened when I was a kid, if I couldn't DD I would lash out.  I once told him about my DD and he told me it's normal and he DDs about being a famous rockstar, this is not the same thing but I just laughed it off. I will try again and tell him I'm depressed and scared about it, hopefully he will be a good support system for me but I honestly don't know what to say. I will show him this site so he knows I'm not the only one and hopefully this will help. I have been treated for depression and he knows I can sometimes lay around for days at a time but he doesn't know I'm spending that time with other people doing fantastical things. I have found other MD sufferers to be incredibly intelligent and compassionate by reading these posts and watching their videos. I am excited to find this community and want to say I will also be here for support so please message me if you want to talk.

[greyartist]

I seem to be the execption to the rule. I never was one to daydream or fantisize when I was young. I started having complulsive fantasies April 2011, 45 at the time. It was after reading a book that I was not happy with the ending. I became obssessed with replaying it in my mind until it ended just right. But then a different story started, then another, and I could not controll it. I couldn't concentrate on work, I stopped doing any of my hobbies, I spent all my time DDing. It has consumed my life. There is no time when I am not DDing, I maybe functioning at work, home but part of my mind is always DDing.

[Jennifer]

Wow, I'm glad you found us. Welcome to the group!

As for your question, when I was 7 years old, I began to daydream. At that time, I had just lost my 22-year-old cousin due to Pulmonary Hypertention. Ten months later, I lost the sister of the cousin due to the same disease. She was 25. They were both about to graduate from college and get married. Having to experience something so awful, (Losing two cousins ten months apart, going to the funerals, grieving at such a young age, lapsing into depression) made me create a daydream world where everything was perfect. In January of 2012, my Aunt died. I was 14 when this happened, only four months ago, and she and I were very close. I have a sister, but my Aun was closer to me than to her. My Aunt would do anything for me; I never had grandparents, for they all died before I was born, so I didn't really have any relatives who would do something special for me during the holidays or my birthday. But my Aunt always would.Before she died, she told my parents she tried to make up for the grandparents I never had. I loved her so much. I knew she would died; She was diagnosed with Lung Cancer a few weeks before she passed, and came to live in my basement. She died there only four days after arriving. I helped take care of her while she was sick and dying in the basement, and was with her only 17 hours before she died. When she was dying, I was aware that I had MD. I would always promise myself that I would stop the stupid daydreaming nonsense as soon as she died, because I didn't want her to find out that her niece had a mental disorder. I was-and still am-ashamed of having MD. But, of course, she died and I never stopped daydreaming. I just couldn't. As a matter of fact; my daydreaming habits are worse now than they have ever been! I daydream to numb the pain of losing 3 people in 3 years. I daydream to numb the pain of my Aunt's death, to numb the feelings of knowing that I will never, ever be able to see her again. She's gone. Forever. I hide my emotions really, really well in real life. If you were to see me on the street, I guarantee I'd have that fake smile on my face that I wear everyday. And honestly, I wouldn' be able to disguise myself in that way if it weren't for my MD. My daydreams are the only thing helping me to get through all of this. My friends have absolutely no idea how it feels. My best friend hasn't even had one hard thing happen to her yet, and she's fourteen! I envy her because of that! She has almost a perfect life thus far. And I've been on the verge of committing suicide many times...No one cares. No one ever will, just like no one understands. I'm all alone in this. I'm dying inside. But I'm the only one who knows and cares.

MD has really screwed up my life, but at the same time, it helps me get through the pain of everything I've ever faced. Everything most 12-15 year old girls don't face.  I'm 15 now, and my Aunt's death still makes me cry. Lifemakes my cry. I hate MD. I hate it. Oh, how I wish to be normal...

[Roobles]

I find this question interesting and very difficult as I have a poor memory lol but I remember being very young like 5 or 6 and I used to have this wall paper with little bumps in it that I called rice pudding paper. And each bump represented a different fantasy so I before bed time I used to press one that I wanted to take me into a certain dream / fantasy that night and I used to daydream the fantasy till I fell asleep. Then used to dream in car journeys and then play make belief a lot by myself with anything my gave was a box of buttons that I made into a family

Then it became more intricate and detailed as I grew older and more frequent and less controlled now has just become with me all the time and I let it as without it I no idea how I would cope.

My dd charictors are closer to me than nearly anyone in this life but my husband and parents. That's what's hard to give up.

Never seen anyone bowl it too scared to see someone

[Wish Upon A Wish]

Welcome!

To answer your first question and ramble a bit, as I do, it started when I was really little, and there was a little thing I did while daydreaming that is quite awkward and embarrassing that I'm kinda ashamed of, that there's no way in sane hell I'd post it on the internet to a stranger (even though I've rambled on about tonnes of other crap in my DD) it's just too awkward.

And I hope you don't think you're the only one with a strong emotional attachment to your DD friends, I've some good friends in real life but I think I'm closer to some of my DD friends, and feel more for them. Some psychologists do recognise this as a real condition, of the ones who've heard of it, I think most do. At least, my doctor does, as does my shrink he referred me too. I think I got lucky there, though.

Could I maybe suggest, even if it does take a while before you're brave enough to, maybe go and see a psychotherapist or something? You may have to go through a few before you find one who believes you though. And if you do, take some info, or ask them before hand if they can read up on it.

[Jenna]

Welcome to wildminds! Also I have always been a bit of a daydreamer but it disn't really come madlaptive til two years ago. I was lonely and depressed at the time and I had this amazing dream involving Harry Potter and when I woke up, I just wanted to continue the dream so I daydreamered all day. That was when it started. I am 13 years old, so XD I am still very new to MD unlike some.