Hi to all - A DayDreamer with lot of hopes and dreams

Hi All,

 

I was too anxious to find the root cause of my problem, was reading through all sorts of content psychology and Sigmund Freud... and I landed here. :) I am glad.

 

I am 28 year married, expecting a baby in few months.

I have been a day dreamer since I was a kid and i can remember (atleast since age 8).

I had a normal loving family - parents and a younger bro. My parents did well do get me a decent school education and good food. I do not have any event of child abuse or trauma.

 

However I had some smalltime bullies in my school which I was scared of - guess is very usual.

 

During my school and high school - i could never pay attention to teacher's lecture. I always relied on self study outside of my school.. i.e. later sometime in liesure i would just dive into books and read.

Science was the only subject which I could concentrate, rest all I had to struggle a lot.

 

Day dreams in school involved romantic stories with classmates or some heroic things i could do to save the world and my girl from bad guys.

I remember when I was a very small my mom had left me alone in the house and went for shopping, she went a very long time which was unusual. I started dreaming of her being dead and started cryin profusely. The more time elapsed I dreamt more and more traumatic ways of she being killed. However once she returned home it was a great feeling.

 

In high school and college I kept dreaming of Romance, Sex, adventures, Science fiction, politics where I played the protagonist in most stories and did great things to save the world.

In college I was know as 'mental' because I used to zone out often and my arguements and view points over topics were too radical and my hyperactivity. But my friend mostly loved me and loved my company.

I have very good friends, however i am more of an introvert and find difficult to adjust to new environments.

 

The subjects that interested my were those which had lot of analytical content and not monotonous.

I somehow managed strugglingly to sail through college and graduated. I got a decent job, but the DD returned. I could not concentrate on my tasks.

I could only read something if i am continuouls moving on foot. I remember I used to have severe pain in the heels once I finished my exams. :P

Also I realised I have symtoms of ADHD/ADD - The things which were too interesting or new were easy to concentrate rest were completely ignored.

Altough I am loyal to my employers I changed jobs because I could NOT do justice to the responsibility given to me.

I always resigned a job first and then started looking out which is considered higly risky.. especially now that I am married.

 

Right now I am unemployed and trying to find a job. But before that I want to brush up on my skills. And here i am finding it very difficult to work on my skills (skills are not physical, but mental skills)

1. Excessive day dreaming - mostly of unachieved things

2. Sometimes day dreaming of death of loved once - out of fear of their loss I want to feel it in dream than in reality.

3. extreme difficulty in focusing on monotonous and boring content.

4. difficulting in staring and finishing things in time

5. Social pressure to perform and not just imagine and day dream

6. low self esteem because of under acheivement.

7. High effiencies and quality in whatever patches of planned work I do

8. Exercising and outdoor games help me a lot in increasing my self esteem

9. Risk taking tendencies - as compared to the norm among my peers.

10. ADD/ADHD symptomes like hyeractivity, and inappropriate moving and climbing esp during childhood.

11. May be lack of proper prioritizations in life - related to risk taking tendencies.

12. Meditation seem to help me but i am not sure.

13. My wife gets upset because I often ask her to leave me alone. She takes it in different sense that I dont like her anymore. but the reality is I need space to day dream. So I steal my space out in some way.

14. Day dream is triggers increase with social media.

15. I used to watch lot of TV in high school althoug hanging out with my firends was also a lot - this was the only time i managed not to DD.

16. Tendency to solve or understand very complex problems while day dreaming.

 

I tried to discuss all this with my wife but she does not seem to understand the intensity of the problem.

I love my wife and my family a lot. If it was not for my family I would have kept DDing forever.

The only thing that keeps me moving ahead in life (after lot of struggle) is "never give up"..

 

regards,

Jhonny

 

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Comment by quentin on August 3, 2011 at 5:07am

Sounds a lot like my own situation. No trauma, no abuse, a good family and a decent education, and yet...

Of course, there is still a difference which impairs social life from time to time, but as far we can sympathise with a few good friends, it is not that bad.

Intelectually, I am in the exact situation as well. I am a scientist, most of my works (as a phd student) focus on abstract and complicated content. Its paradoxical that on the other side, I am unable to achieve simple things that are yet important in daily life.

 

It seems to me that we are daydreamers who fall more into the ADD/ADHD bracket, since it doesn't semm that we suffer from any -conscious- trauma or abuse.

Comment by Tyto Alba on July 26, 2011 at 10:20am

I'm amazed. I'm just finding out about this whole topic myself... I'm very surprised because I ALSO used to imagine bad things happening to my mom when she went out for a long while...

 

It's weird... I thought I was the only one with this intense sense and tendency of day dreaming... Now I know I'm just "the only one" I KNOW...

Congratulations on the baby, by the way... ;o) I have a new born nice, and funny thing, her name is Luna.

Comment by J Noland on July 25, 2011 at 7:08am

Hello, sounds all very familiar to me! The people here seem really nice and have alot of info and advice. I'm trying to read up on all the past posts to catch up. So glad to have some understanding after all this time.

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