I'm a 27 y/o female with major depression, anxiety an god knows what else since for years I was too scared of getting locked up for an extended period of time if I said everything I felt an did.  I'm pretty sure I have avoidant personality disorder since whenever I read about it its like reading about me, I am certain I have maladaptive daydreaming too.  I've been doing since I could remember.  Why make friends when they'll probably just make fun of me, an in my mind I can be the popular kid for once.  It wasn't till roughly 2 years ago I realized I did it without even trying, that it just happened, an all the time.  I honestly don't know what I'd do without it, my real life is pointless.

I've recently started trying to write stories to try to sell one day.  Mostly horror based.  I watch a ton of horror movies.  I am not recreating whats already out their, well most ideas have been done to death (bad pun), but am trying new spins I guess. 

I am just so lonely I have only 4 people in my life an most don't get what my problem is, so I feel like a burden an a freak.  I just want to go away some days an never come back, I do in my mind but probably never well in real life...

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Comment by SamAndThe on February 6, 2013 at 10:52am

thanks everyone for being so nice, an giving ideas. 

the story i am working on is dark humor, horror, bit of a love story and character study.

another one i am working on is a short story series around a serial killer an his adventures.

well hope to see you all around

Comment by samurai on February 6, 2013 at 6:49am

Hey, I agree with Jack. Instead of horror, I will suggest you to do new experiment. e.g Take any horror movie and try to make fun of it. E.g take The Ring movie and think about the scene when the girl try to come into reality from the recorded video and our hero just switch off the TV set. It will probably make you n many others laugh.

Well, it's just an idea, which I think could help you improve your relationship with others by making you n your stories more humorous. Final decision must be yours, I am no one.

Comment by Jack Frost on February 5, 2013 at 12:35pm

One thing I've learned in life is that EVERYONE is a freak.  Some people are just better than others at hiding it. I'm not kidding! I've had friends I've known for  years at various times in my life, and always at some point, after some experience with them, I've always said to myself "That guy/girl is really weird". I say this even about best friends. And I must say I am happy about it. This world would be very boring if we were all the same.

  I hate to tell you this, but there is only one cure for loneliness I know of, and that is getting out to meet new people. There are lots of ways to do this if you can overcome your anxiety. Joining some kind of recreational team is a good option. You can join a pool league, dart league, bowling league, etc. It doesn't matter how good you are since most will have beginner levels. And you're joining for the people not the games. So go out and focus on fun. Chances are you will meet people in the same boat you are in.

  Try not to worry about disorders, daydreaming,  or anything else. If it happens, then it happens. Move on. And if you get lonely in the meantime, stop by here and scream. You'll get somebody's attention.

Comment by Annie on February 5, 2013 at 11:13am

Welcome to Wildminds!!!

I'm glad you are in some way using your daydreaming to recreate actual stories =) I tried doing that once as a young kid but I never got to finish it all. But keep writing, its an excellent hobby and you never know maybe you might be the next great best seller one day =D

I was kind of like you in my younger years. I wasn't the most popular kid in middle school and would get picked on a lot. Sometimes they didn't need to call me names just simply ignore me or just isolate me would be enough.  So, I would escape most often into this world inside my mind where I was surrounded by a lot of people who loved me. It was a lot easier than having to deal with others and try to make them like me. Which require myself to be or act like like someone I am not. Now,these days I'm a bit more social  and yes, at times I do feel like MD is a nightmare when it interferes with my work and school but really, I couldn't imagine a life without it......it would be too vague, too boring,too pointless as you said. MD in a way,  gives me hope and inspiration. As in it I imagine myself as being the best ,  I mean its kind of hard sometimes to accept reality and actually see your just average. =/  Why not keep doing what makes you happy, no? MD is mine <3

I know you probably feel lonely and a burden to others but your not. I dont know you that very well but I would have loved to have been your friend. In fact I can pretty much gaurentee anybody on this site would have loved to be your friend. You seem like a nice person and would just be horrible for the world to loose somebody like you. There are not a bunch of kind and sympathetic ppl like you in this world, especially creative writers! You are not a freak(and to tell you the truth, i think those are the coolest and funnest ppl) and you are not alone anymore. You have all of us here, and we all feel glad we have another MDer in our team =)

I know life is sometimes tough sweetie, but don't give up. Everything turns out okay in the end, and if it doesn't.......well, its not the end just yet. =)

Comment by greyartist on February 5, 2013 at 2:55am

welcome. I hope your writing goes well. It seems to help allot of people. As to writing new twist on horror, you're right. The basic stories have been done to death. I would like to see some where the tables get turned, like the old story of the girl who breaks down or is hitch hiking and the crazy guy/guys imprisons her, well wouldn't it be interesting if the innocent girl turned out to be a cold blooded psychopath and takes them all out. ;)

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