Wild Minds network

Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest

Here goes nothing...

I have lurked on here for a while but now have the courage to participate. First off I am so grateful to find this site. One day I just googled my symptoms and up came this site. I think so many of you are brave and I have gained much insite from you even though you don't know me.

I have had md most of my life, but really manifested in my middle school years. I was socially awkward-still am. I had very little friends. I was teased and tormented constantly. Mostly I would daydream about being on tv. Just insert myself into story. Can't tell you how many academy awards I accepted...much less painful than dealing with reality. I also had a host of other issues-social anxiety, food issues, and trichotillamania(hair pulling). I spent and perhaps still do an inordinate amount of time on media. However I had a very loving but perhaps too enabling family. It was a miracle that I was a good student.

College changed everything. People could be more open to idiosyncrancies I guess. I had friends, even boyfriends. I guess I'm considered functional. I graduated and got married. Have children. I have always thought it was a miracle.

As for today I still md. I always thought I was alone. I was always afraid I was crazy. Now I see I'm different. Nobody of course knows, but I would probably be considered spacy. I am easily depressed and am unsatified career wise. I did seek help awhile back but was not upfront about my md. Basically I found the process unsatisfying. The meds helped but hated side effects. I should go back but probably won't.

Overall I have a love hate relationship with md. I should probably give it up and it has probably held me back but can't imagine life without it. I would love to be able to manage it better.

Thanks for letting me share.

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Comment by Taryn on December 4, 2012 at 6:56pm: No I don't think md has to ruin your life-should I give it up-probably. Def not there. And know,my husband doesn't really know-i fell bad I just can't quite come clean about it. He would probably think it weird, but he would probably be understanding. He def knows about my OCD tendencies and well- the hair twirling is hard to hide.
College was stressful , but it can open doors. I pushed myself and tried a lot of new activities. I guess I should try that now. I now have an advanced degree and work part time. I actually should push myself to be busier but now I think I'm regressing a bit and am paralyzed at the thought of a new job.

Glad to hear your stories. If I can't force myself into therapy at least I can relate to all of you.

Comment by Annie on December 4, 2012 at 10:18am: Hey Tyran,

Welcome to Wild Minds. I know its not easy to talk about MD. Since its such an hard and embarrassing problem to talk about. I just about died of fear when I told my doctor! I struggled to get the words out but luckily she wasnt judgemental but was very fixed on the idea that I had ADHD or something, even if I told her I didnt. =P

Anyways, yeah MD can be kind of scary. Before I knew about it I thought I was crazy or just very weird. Worst when I posted it up on yahoo answers somebody told me it could be early symptoms of schizophrenia! Now that totally FREAKED me out!! But yes, even if MD does get in the way of my life ALOT ALOT I cant imagine a world without it....it would be so boring, meaningless, and well, i dont know.....STRANGE. =(

I also wish I could control it better so it doesnt make me procastinate alot though. Yet, I feel kind of good with your post. You say college was different and you got a bf and kids!!! I'm barely starting college and hope to have some kind of relationship soon. Kids someday too. =)

I guess DD doesnt completely ruin your life. But I gots a question, did you ever tell your husband about it? Just curious.

Comment by Jordan on December 3, 2012 at 2:30pm: i can relate to your story when i first came to this website i didnt want to join then i joined but didnt want to share its not easy talking about it but it helps when you have people that understand

Comment by taffle on December 3, 2012 at 7:34am: I also suffer from other disorder such as social anxiety. College changed everything for me as well; people became more aware of my idiosyncracies and pointed me out for it. I felt immense pressure to fit in; heck, I even changed my hairstyles twice or so just to try to fit in with the environment I'm in.