GUYS! IM BAAAAACK! NOW LISTEN, PLEASE!

[Emily]

Attention gotten? FABULOUS!

 

 

Now what? o_O

 

Well frankly I've been sad and anxious and when I say anxious I mean: HOLY CRAP IM ANXIOUS!

 

Something I'm frustrated with in my friends. Well, "friends". My friend "Annie" has a bf. He's a jerk and I don't understand what she sees in him. A while back when I found this out my "brother (dd)" was distraught. I had told her about him before and how I had this perfect life planned out for them. He was perfect for her, etc. He cares about her the same way my characters care about me. Well after a dd misunderstanding, we began talking again. Last day of school she tells me she'll invite me places, like the mall.

 

Here's the thing. 1. She didn't. She posted pics of her hanging out with like 5 of my friends too, people who live NEAR me, having fun and shit. I could have gone. Yet does she give a rat's hat?! Apparently not. So I just make a snippy FB comment (I didn't even send it to her,  I just made it my status) about how, apparently, I'm not good enough to hang with certain people. Like, thanks for being there for me!

2. When I open up to you, I OPEN UP TO YOU. You now have me as a responsibility. Just recently I decided (I actually told Annie this), "I already keep most of my life, my daydreaming, a secret. If I can't bring that up in a conversation, I'm gonna start giving more of my opinion in real life." I actually told her (gently) that I frankly didn't care for her boyfriend and felt he was a controlling jerk. Well, one of the people she hung out with that day WAS her boyfriend. That's no reason not to invite me. Even if I hated half the people there, could you at least be a bit courteous and give me the OPTION to  go with. She's friends with this bitch I've known for YEARS (a total lying, manipulative, pity inducing little SNAKE), and she tells me she's not friends with her. Really? REALLY? It doesn't seem that way considering you hang out with her all the time. There's something called pity, which is what you SAY you're doing, but it seems to have been taken a bit too far. Looks like friendship to me. I'm not trying to be a bitch! I don't invite myself places. If you were to text me and say,"I'm going to the mall to see some people, ttyl :D" I'd say,"Oh, ok. Well, have a nice time." Don't say you're my friend and then... wow. Just wow.

 

I mean, guys I havent talked to everyone here in FOREVER! I'm seeing some new faces, some new names. I feel so ridiculous lately... This has almost been a painful reminder. I've been dd so much. It's been terrible! I feel sick, I've been having insomnia every night!

 

I have learned though if you video tape yourself and vent and talk about how you're feeling and about life, it can make you feel A LOT better. I might start a web series...

 

Sigh... I'm sorry if I havent been there for certain people I just... Being here, on Wild Minds, it's become hard for me. There's just more and more people. More and more intro posts. Poetry (which I applaud) that some take interest in and others don't. The same problems appearing OVER AND OVER AND OVER... I can't help everyone. I end up posting the same things. IM NOT EVEN HELP. Saying I'm help gives myself way too much credit.

 

Guys, help me here. People in reality are ignoring me. Daydreaming is daydreaming. You guys are the only ones who exist and are willing to actually help. And the only ones who understand a little more than others (I say a little more only because we all have different pasts and dd and ticks and triggers and ages etc etc etc).

 

LOVE YOU GUYS! I seriously wish I could be here more it's just hard for me. I worry. I stress. FORGIVE ME! (Also I plan on getting some writing up here so check it out if you- a. Don't hate me b. Enjoy poetry/shortstories c. Are bored) THANKS BYEEE!

[Dusty]

Thanks for your kind words Emily, glad I could help :3. I bet you really are a strong individual, I know that can be hard to forget as a teen when all the pressure is to be social and popular and into the same things as everyone else. I bet you'll do great in school, it gets much more interesting each year I found, as well as the kids get more mature :3.

[Jennifer]

Oops, sorry, I forgot to mention that I think it's super cool that you were singing the MD "drowing" song, LOL! I just had to laugh when I read that! xD

[Jennifer]

Hey, Emily!!

Wow, I'm so happy you replied back so quickly. =) Okay, I'll admit this: When I saw that request from you on Facebook I got really creeped out because you coincidentally have the same last name as my extremely creepy science teacher, so I deleted it, thinking you were his daughter. Sorry! But I added you again! :P Whooooops. xD I really hope you find better friends in high school. I wish Annie didn't have such a cruel posse...It's not cool to exlude one friend just to be with your other, "more popular" friends. :/

Wow, thanks for your kind words, by the way! It really made me smile. =)

[Emily]

@Jennifer I hate to be that loud, abnoxious person but... I MISSED YOU TOO DX! EEEEEK!!! oh and, request sent ;) (I've been trying to use fb more often). :) but IM BACK, my dear twin ;D you're super amazing to say such kind things about me, thank you. (btw, I adored your song you wrote about MD and drowning. Beautiful. I actually was singing it) You are honestly one of the nicest and most mature person I have ever met :) (did that sentence make sense...? hmmmm...) annnnyway... it's strange. Annie is one of those good people; she doesnt wear makeup or worry about material objects, she's friendly, she's not a scary skinny girl, and she's involved with things. The thing is is she has a posse. Just a group of friends, like the ones I was talking about, that do everything together. I know them, and they're not cruel people, they just don't care to include others. During school, I sit at a table alone. Right behind me is a table packed with people, all of them, just a big family. I'm the Boo Radley of the relationship. I just sit in my house and watch everyone else have fun, looked upon as different. Well, at least I have friends here to help me always see the light :') <3

 

@DustyRose (Little side note, I'm 15 :D) First of all, lemme just say, THAT is absolutely TERRIBLE! How dare she and those brats be so...so... downright CRUEL! Lol, I hope they do see what bitches they all were. It's clear to me that you are a genuinely good person who deserves a great deal of respect <3 I can see how you went through the same thing, your friends hung out together but not with you. I get that! I mean, I WANT to be independent, and for a long time I was; my entire life really! I just wish my characters were real :) At the end of the day, that'd fix everything. Heh :/ Anyway, thanks for being so supportive of me, it means a lot. And I am trying my best in school, if only I could focus >_/p>

 

So thanks guys, I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH! Like, no lie, to hear people believe in me... wow... I don't get that a lot. Thanks :)

[Dusty]

Aww I know how you feel. I don't know how old you are but I never got invited anywhere in high school, even by my so called "friends" who hung out with each other. Truth be told, those people would not have been worth the time anyways. I would MUCH rather not be invited at all than be invited out of pity. and when I left high school, I never talked to any of them again, nor did they talk to me. I found much better friends in first year university who were much more mature.

Back when I had made a new facebook account in university, one of the bitchiest girls from high school tried to add me as a friend (the same one that invited everyone but me to prom, and then had the nerve to write "hope to see you at prom!" in my yearbook) and I got the privilege of denying the request. Just a simple thing like that reminds you that bitchy people are temporary, and one day you'll get to leave them behind. I wonder what she was thinking when she saw all the pictures of me having fun with other people in dorms, "oh other people like her? maybe it WAS just me being a bitch o.o"

If I were you I'd just try to ignore those people and be independent, don't feel like you HAVE to associate with them, or anyone who you don't feel treats you as a friend. And I'd try to do my best in school (if that is where you are) so you can go to a good university and meet much more mature people and no longer have to deal with those jerks :3.

[Jennifer]

OH MY GOSH, YA Y! I'm so glad you're back, Emily! I was starting to get concerned!

I most certainly do not hate you, and I sure hope none of the other members on here do, either. They have no reason to at all. You're such a kind person, and always see things for the way they are, despite your age. That's so awesome; not many teens are that mature. :) You have a Facebook? :O So do I! I'll message you the link to my profile sometime so we can become friends! (If that's alright with you, of course. :P)

Wow...The girls you're describing sound SO selfish and ignorant. That's SO awful. That's how teenage girls are anymore, and it's sad. Teenagers are the future. They are supposed to represent maturity and the future of our society. But they are nothing but reckless kids who run around and do hurtful things to other people only to satisfy theirselves. Don't take what they did to you personally. It's not like you're their target or anything like that...They just pick on whoever they can, and I guess you were the person they chose that day. :/

Sorry for your luck!! I'm sure we've all been through experiences like that one. They're definitely not fun! :( I'm always, always open to talk! So glad you're back, twin!! :P