Hello out there! I guess I'll use this as my introductory post of sorts. Also, HOLY WALL OF TEXT, BATMAN!  I'M SORRY. D:

For some background information, I'd like to say I've lived in a very stable family, and like to think I've led a fairly mild real life, silly as that sounds typing it out. c:

I'm an only child, my parents are together, I have pets, it's all really nice. My parents are the type of people I can hug or talk to anytime, they're very open minded, and very willing to listen.

As friends go, I have a very tight knit circle of people I trust deeply. I have a few others I would consider friends, but I'm not necessarily close to. So about an amount you can count on your fingers. I also have a boyfriend, but I will say now that I feel my day-dreaming distances us. It's also slightly difficult since he's also very shy and modest. (u w u)<3

I've only recently discovered Maladaptive Day-Dreaming this afternoon, but as soon as I did, everything about it sounded like me.

As for day-dreaming goes, I've done it as far back as I can remember. If I have to put an age on it, I'd guess 3 0r 4 years old. Although I'm guessing that would be a normal day-dream age.

I've used my day-dreaming for either escapes, or trying to be a better/different person. In 3rd grade, I was put into the school's advanced program. I've always excelled in my regular classes, but in the advanced class I always felt as if I was never near as intelligent/gifted/ or lived up to any of them, and the teacher would always call me out, and say I was lazy/I didn't try hard enough, but really I just had a harder time keeping up. I've always been a "Space Cadet" and very forgetful. Then, I used my day-dreams to try and do as well as the rest of my peers. Fourth grade was also around the time, if not earlier, that I began having day-dreams with characters from television and books.

As time has progressed, I was very often (or so it felt) diagnosed with new medical conditions, was a very sickly kid (I can't say my filthy public school helped), and I was always in pain. It felt like these things came magically, out of nothing. And for a very long time (probably until now even) I've always just wished they would also magically go away. (Fyi, day-dreaming is definitely not the cure.

But as of the current time, I have allergies (seasonal, and mostly 4's to almost every native plant where I live), Athsma, Scoliosis (19 degrees), Sheuermann's disease (left-ward thoratic curvature of the spine; 19 degrees), Iliopsoas Tendonitis,  my left kneecap will jump out of place, Anxiety, and mild depression. (All in oldest-newest diagnosed.)

Optimistically, My allergies and asthma are now being put under control with better medication and I'll be staring injections, I'm finally done growing, so my back only hurts on rainy days/cold days or for obvious reasons. I have stretches for my hips. And I start going to a therapist in January. (Not too comfortable with the idea yet.)

Most recently, day-dreaming has made life extremely difficult. I forget to clean. I forget to do laundry. I get in really bad funks where I want to kick, scream and cry because I want to live in my imagination and not reality. I have a hard time concentrating on my homework, I'm extremely uncomfortable and scared of the idea of growing up, getting a job, etc. since my parents have pretty much done everything for me. I'm in the second class that I'm border-line failing. The difference is they won't let me change out. The biggest problem is I'm too afraid to get help, and I give up often since I've never had to do anything I've never understood right away on my own. The stress from all of this makes me try and escape more.

I think I'm done with this entry for now, I didn't think it would be this long, wow! That felt nice to get out!

If you read this I'm extremely grateful, and thank you!~ (;  u  ;)<33

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Comment by Sara Unterriner on December 22, 2012 at 12:53pm

Thanks for all the wonderful comments everyone! <3

Comment by Teagan Heart on December 20, 2012 at 8:54pm

Welcome to the site, Sara, I believe that there's hope.

Comment by LJ on December 17, 2012 at 9:52pm

Welcome to a place of solace and acceptence!

Comment by taffle on December 17, 2012 at 7:44am

I feel the same way too.

I'm extremely uncomfortable and scared of the idea of growing up, getting a job, etc. since my parents have pretty much done everything for me.

I'm good at school, but not in real life.

Comment by greyartist on December 17, 2012 at 3:52am

welcome!

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