I don't normally have a lot of good news when it comes to MD, so I thought it was important to post. This week has been amazing. Saturday afternoon, I spent a few hours writing a poem about MD, which was an emotional experience. When I went to pray that night, I broke down crying. I haven't DD since then. There have been a couple times when I wanted to or almost did, but I didn't. I have been praying constantly, and I keep repeating the last line of the poem Invictus, "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul." Normally, when I am able to go a few days without DD (not this long), I start to feel worn out, but right now I don't. I feel calm, and happy. For the first time in a long time, there isn't that nagging hopelessness that comes with believing that no matter what, I will always run back to my addiction. I am trying to take it one day at a time, but I think that this could last. If it doesn't, I know that is my fault. I always felt like MD was ultimately in control of my life, and it feels really, really good to know that, for once, I have the power.

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Comment by Caitlin on August 13, 2015 at 3:12pm

I'm so happy for you!!!!!!!!!!

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