Where wild minds come to rest
Hi I'm "Ari."
I'm pretty new to this. I've been daydreaming for a year and a half now and I'm thinking it's pretty unhealthy where it's going.
Let's start off with some background information: It started around March on my way to church after my father's funeral. Since I'm pretty young and stuff I based my daydreams off of the show Totally Spies with me and these 2 other made up girls. I figured it was an interesting daydream so I continued. I daydreamed about it all the way until I returned to America. So about a week. I daydreamed that the imaginary girls enrolled in my school and we became BFFs and stuff.
When I returned to school that's when things changed. Now first of all what I'm about to tell you was my old daydreams, some are still included, but not so much.
I began daydreaming that I was the Princess of this magical world called Magix and I was the Princess of Magix/Magic with long pure white hair, pure white eyes (Turn gray/grey later), My skin stayed the same (African-American), Skinny, and the most beautiful girl in all the universes. It was like a double life for me, like at first during the day I was my plain old usual "Ari" self, (Mind) but then later I turn into my "Alter Ego." I was surrounded by all the things I loved in my mind (Meaning all the cartoons I grew up with became real). I created some characters. The main ones at first were: Mary- Queen of Magix/Magic. Dark Bei Fong- Daugther of the chief of the Dark World. Asian. Best Friend. Diya- Maid/Servant of the Princess (Me). Best Friend. Happy Cheerful- Daughter of a TV Reporter/Journalist. Enemy.
I mostly used Dark and Mary at first. I usually daydreamed about my coronation with me on Aladdin's Magic Carpet with Dark flying around these cartoons. I also dreamt of me sitting on the swing outside my old flat (apartment) talking to Raven from Teen Titans and my other "sides." I spoke of spells and charms, since I believed I was a witch.
Later on Diya became more of a main character and whenever Dark was around Diya was there too. It was easy to add Diya since she lived in the castle with me since she was my servant. We acted like normal teenagers, but with more sense and were very different. Mary was a guardian to me. She was like a parent since I hated adding family or people I know in reality because I started to hate them all in reality. So Mary was my legal guardian.
Towards May my mind started to add a prince, he was first based off my kinda crush, but that didn't last at all. How a permanent prince came to be was-
The show Tara Duncan. The character Caliban Dal Salan, "Cal" for short. I kinda based the character off of him with the same name and Robin from the Teen Titans. It was hate at first sight in my mind, but became a friendship. He became my best friend alongside with Dark and Diya. Mary was disappearing more and more. First thing first I now write Cal's name Caliban DEL Salan. Okay, later I decided to change Cal's personality into a charming, English (British), Thief (For themselves), Assassin (For the Queen, and themselves), Rich (Parents are trillionaires) lad. He was perfect. (More on that later.)
My daydreams began to change I started to make people I know appear, but they all were locked in my old school's cafeteria watching my character having an amazing life. It was like I was trying to prove to these people that I can be happy that I have a better life then them. It was a dire mission to do. It's funny how that turns out I show them random clips from my imaginary life and showing them I better then them. That I'm not that shy, chubby, geek, introvert they all known for years. I still do that, but it's way different.
My triggers are listening to music, watching shows/movies, reading... or being bored with my life. (That's 24/7). Whenever I listen to music I have this certain urge to rock back and forth. I NEED movement, but not in a car since that's moving. It now makes me very irritated because I usually rock in an empty room where I'm by myself. I soothes me and it makes it easier to daydreamer and when I get more excited in my daydream I rock faster and faster until I come to a complete stop to check if there's no one around. It's repetitive I do it all the time, but get worried if there's someone around watching me. I feel like I'm always being watched.
When someone does enter the room I'm rocking in I try to do some other movement, but it's not the same. I can't daydream as well sadly.
I'm going to stop here for today.
P.S. I guess I started this daydreaming because of the trauma of last year.