Where wild minds come to rest
My main problem is that I am not 100% confident in myself. Some moments I feel okay- but many others I do not feel confident. I pick myself apart and constantly see every flaw. It's getting really old. When I MD, its a way to reassure myself and feel confident. I wish that I could quit looking in the mirror obsessively. I wish I would quit comparing myself to others. It's like I know that I am being too hard on myself and I don't have much room to complain. But I still obsess over beauty.
I wish that I could quit putting so much emphasis on beauty. But it is really hard when so many women are valued by their looks and harshly judged. I don't allow myself to look at magazines anymore unless its SELF magazine or something like that. This obsessiveness is anything but constructive and sometimes time consuming.
My worst problem with myself though is my smile. I had braces so its not like I have crooked teeth, but I still don't like to smile. When I do, I hate how my face looks. I drive people nuts when I don't want to smile in a picture. I just don't know what to do with myself and this ridiculous problem.
Of course though- I also MD just to escape and sometimes even work out my problems. Funny enough, it gives me a calm atmosphere to think in.