Feeling really demotivated and overwhelmed.

[Charlotte]

I'll start this by saying I've always been a bit of a procrastinator but I usually manage to pull things together when I need to, in fact I often find I do some of my best work under pressure. 

Lately, since about half way through Christmas break I haven'y been able to bring myself to do anything. I've already missed one deadline and I have another coming up in a week. Its not that I don't want to do work its just that I can't bring myself to focus at all. 

My brother has been depressed and tried to kill himself around Christmas. Ever since then I'd been stuck in a catch 22 where whenever I'd try to do uni work I'd be too distracted and my mood would be too low plus I'd feel guilty for not supporting him or my family but when I wasn't doing work I'd just get really anxious about how much I had to do.

Now that I've come back down to London for uni (from Leeds) I feel really homesick because there's no one I can really talk to about all this family stuff, I can't concentrate at all and feel terrible about it. I don't know what to do.

[Aine]

Hi Charlotte,

I'm sorry to hear about your brother, but you will get through this and you are not alone. I too had a hard time concentrating and motivating myself to do anything while I was in school and feeling down. I'm middle aged now and still have problems focusing and getting motivated, but I'm getting better. I know this is hard, believe me. Try to do one thing for  2 hours alone just one day this week. Let if be something that you love to do, it doesn't have to be expensive. You could go for a chocolate bar, or for a walk in a part of London that you don't know. Go to a shop and try on clothes just for the hell of it. In other words do something out of the ordinary. Try writing a letter ( don't mail it) to someone, real or fantasy and write out all of the things that you are feeling, get it all out. Then later, write a response, a fan letter to yourself, so to speak. it could be words of encouragement, comfort, support etc. coming from a loved one or imaginary loved one. Keep this letter full of good feelings and let it help to heal you and hopefully motivate you a bit. Then try to at least begin your assignment.  Hope this helps, but we are here for you, anytime. Hang in there sweetie.

[greyartist]

Hopefully talking about it here will help. I know having so much bottled up really makes concentrating difficult.