Controlling the Daydreams

[Tara Lynn]

Before I start, I would like to blatantly say that the things I will put here are things that help me. I am not instructing people on how to control their daydreams, although what helps me could possibly help you. I am not writing this to let people know what will help them. Everyone has their own way of dealing with it, but I know it's hard to begin thinking about how to stop them or just control how often you daydream, so hopefully this post just helps people get their own ideas and get the juices flowing, as my English teacher says.

1. Stay Busy.

I personally find myself daydreaming when I'm either bored or feeling depressed. In both cases, I've learned that if I keep my mind busy, I'm less likely to start daydreaming. It's harder to stay busy mentally when my depression gets bad, but I find that drawing helps a lot. For me, drawing requires every bit of attention I can give it. If I'm really focusing on what I'm drawing, I don't really have the time or the mental capacity to daydream.

I also find playing games on my phone helpful. I think this is because I speak the dialogue when I daydream and I can't do that while simultaneously playing a game. When I get tired of my phone, I go to Sporcle (www.sporcle.com). It's a website full of "mentally stimulating games" that are actually kind of fun. That also requires a lot of focus so my mind is less likely to wander.

2. Socialize.

I've noticed that I daydream mostly when my life gets boring and/or empty. The main reason I daydream is to feel like I have connections with people. My daydreams always involve some sort of intimate connection with someone, whether it's a romantic relationship or a close friendship, because I don't have many in reality. So when I socialize with people and get out of the house and hang out with friends, I don't feel the need to live in that other reality I've created. School ended about two or three weeks ago and I started daydreaming again last week. I hadn't spoken to anyone but my mom for two weeks. When I went to dinner with a friend one night, I didn't daydream the next day. I didn't notice it until the next night. (Of course, the day after that I started daydreaming again.)

3. Recognize the triggers and avoid them.

I tend to daydream when I'm lying in bed and when I'm driving. With my depression, I do a lot of lying in bed. That's usually when I play an app or go on Sporcle. I also enjoy Tumblr quite a lot. That's a nice distraction. When I'm driving, though, I can't play games on my phone. My favorite thing to do is listen to podcasts. I listen to one that is a humor podcast, but it's all about news stories and current events. It's mentally stimulating, yet funny enough to keep my attention (but not so much that I don't pay attention to my driving).

Giving my mind time to wander usually leads to daydreaming, so although I don't keep myself from mentally wandering off all the time, I only let myself do it to a certain extent. I also try to stay out of bed as much as possible since I tend to do most of my daydreaming there.

4. Meditate

I was put off by the idea of meditation until I had a psychotic break last year. My depression got so bad I literally could not function and I had to withdraw from the university I was at. I spent three weeks straight daydreaming and watching Supernatural. That's all I could do. I lived inside my own head for months. I daydreamed while walking to class (when I could function enough to go), on my way back from class, while I ate, while I drove around aimlessly, while I laid in bed. I was doing it constantly for months. After withdrawing from the university, I decided I needed to spend a while getting myself mentally and physically healthy. That was my priority. It wasn't until I'd hit rock bottom that I decided to try meditation, among many other things I'd previously been unwilling to do.

The first one I did was on a free app called Mindfulness Meditation. After about a week of using it, I noticed a huge difference in my ability to control where my mind went. I even had to get a spot removed from an extremely sensitive area and I was able to "leave my body," in a way (not like an out of body experience type thing), and I could control what I paid attention to. That was something I wasn't able to do before.

Meditation has also enabled me to be able to be present in my body and focus on the here and now without letting my mind wander. I have to meditate regularly in order to maintain that kind of focus and self-discipline, but it really does work when I keep at it.

Sam Harris also has 2 guided mindfulness meditations on his podcast (which is free). You can listen to them here: http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/mindfulness-meditation

Those are the four main things that help me control my daydreams. It takes LOTS of self-discipline, but it's great when I'm able to control when I daydream. I still let myself daydream, of course, but I'm able to put it off using these four things until I have a few hours to spend in my other world. :)

Those are just some things that help me, although I hope this short list opened up a few doors for you to find some things that will work for you and your own personal MDD "experiences."

-Tara

[Emma]

My problem is with motivation. Your advice is spot-on for me. But finding the motivation to do it, well that's another story.

[Brandi]

I don't generally like people. Honestly, there are very few people I love. I don't even like myself, really. I struggle with Bi-polar disorder and harm OCD as well. I've tried several medications but nothing has balanced me out 100 percent.

My anxiety is so elevated I have difficulty stepping outside. It seems like my daydreams are all I have. The peacefulness I have created in my mind is far from the real world.

I don't know how to stop.

It's as if MD is a cure for all my depression or obsessive thoughts. I go to a happy place, and once I'm there, I can barely escape it.

[James johannes sanford]

Meditation was honestly the best way to lay off the daydreams, helps keep myself motivated.