I don't remember when I started creating stories in my mind but I did notice that suddenly it was all I could think about. 

I can't count how many worlds I create and how many I destroyed. I'm a bit dark and I like destruction. I like to inflict myself pain and sadness in my daydream. I like to face terrible events, tragedies, self-harm, anger, all the types of negative feelings. It's kind of ironic because in real life, I suffer a lot, too much maybe. But event when I try to portray myself happy in my daydream, it never work. 

Sometimes, it feel like I'm loosing control over my DD. Of course I try to keep it down a bit, because it can become overwhelming when I'm trying to study or work but it just come back a me, hit me straight in the face, that my life is better in that world or this world. 

Every fcking moment I can, I DD. Like it's the only thing I can do right. I feel like a failure in real life, like someone who doesn't deserve to live. Kind of ironic too because I was given a second chance to live. But I feel so insecure all the time, so lonely and helpless...

Sorry for ranting.

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Comment by Marie on September 21, 2015 at 5:47am

@Roel Thank you!!

Comment by Roel on September 20, 2015 at 3:10am

Haha the real world does the same to me.

I realy hope you find happiness here, I deffinitly found some here ;)

Comment by Marie on September 19, 2015 at 8:59am

@Roel, Thank you.... I'm very glad I found this site honestly!! Maybe it will help me find a little bit of happiness.. .r  Real world tend to fuck me up lol

Comment by Roel on September 19, 2015 at 3:19am

Hey, I feel like a failure too irl :/ and a lot of us keep screwing our own lives up by daydreaming, and doing nothing else but daydreaming.

a lot of my daydreams aren't that happy either, but I guess compared to the real world they are lol

You shouldn't appolagize for ranting, it's what this site is for :)

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