as children did our md manifest as anything else.

[sue peake]

wow,im not sure if you will all think me crazy asking this question.

its difficult for me to explain what i want to know,so i will explain my experience.

when i was younger(around 12),way too old though for the kind of stuff i describe i had a kind of hobby,obsesion or passtime,whatever you want to call it.i was living in the time of bouncy balls.you know the small rubber blls we used to play with.

i deided(or maybe someone else),it doesnt matter it stuck,that they were alive.living things,trhey had names,personalities etc.....and im pretty sure that i modelled them on my different personaliti8es or traits.

it w3asnt just a fly by the night thing.although at first other friends played the game they soon grew out  of it where i didnt.it lasted many years till around 15.certain ones (namely sindy and perky) even got married,dress,party the whole thing.well i say 15,but even passing my b.balls to my sister at age around 19 caused  me anxiety,pain and loss.

i suppose i need to end it there as this could go on forever.i just want to know if any of you have had similar instances in childhood,or even later.

love and best wishes to you all,sue .xxx

[Ashley London]

I remember exactly when my MD started (So weird after all these years to have a name for what we've been doing most of our lives). It started when my parents bought new furniture. The couch had black, white and gray swrils on it (it was about 1974 LOL). I remember staring at the cushion and matrixing a face. That was it! It all started there. I created an entire different world from then on. My parents fought a lot and my mother was very abusive, so I am pretty sure that's why it continues.

[sue peake]

hi jennifer,

its lovely to hear from you and im so glad that my post helped you to feel less alone.

i can certainly relate to your problem,not just because of my bouncy balls but even further....i too have done this with movies,one in particular since being small.THE WIZARD OF OZ!!!

as i have got older i have kind of solved it though,and although people still think its a bit whacky i can JUST get away with it.i collect memorabillia!

i have movie reels,pictures all over my walls,i will sing and dance with my little nephews and neices(they love me!)i even have rubber bath ducks with the faces of the characters hmmmmm!

well i think you get the picture.im just thinking that if you are really worried this may be one way to kind of tweak it and make it a more socially acceptable hobby.

people do know about my bouncy balls especially since most of my best friends were at the wedding.its been a lifelong joke so doesnt hurt like it used to.

i wish you love and luck always.

[Jennifer]

Hello Ms. Sue,

You know what? I'm SOOOO glad you posted this. Super glad. I have been going through something similar for about 5 years now, and I was so afraid I was alone. 5 years ago, this Disney Pixar cartoon movie came out, and my aunt decided to let me see it in theaters with her and my sister. I was about 10-11 years of age at the time. So, I saw the movie, and LOVED it. Absolutely loved it. I became...I guess I can say obsessed with it, and soon enough all of the characters from that cartoon movie were a huge part of my daydreams. I have gotten so emotionally attached to them that it seems impossible for me to let go of them now, though I am aware I am 15 years old, and that it's waaay past time to let go of this children's movie. My parents know about my MD, though they have no idea that there's a link between this movie and mydaydreams. They've always thought that it was an exception because it's "my favorite childhood movie," and you're never too old for Disney. *__*  They will never know the truth about this movie and my daydreams. It's so embarrassing, I don't even planning on telling anyone about it. Ever. But I feel pretty safe on this site, so I feel comftorable admitting it here. ^^ But, anyways I know one day I will have to grow up and let go completely of this movie and all of the characters in my daydreams. I don't even follow the plot of the movie in my daydreams; the characters have all the same personalities they had in the movie, but the plot isn't the same. I put twists on it and tweaked it to my satisfaction. I'm deadly afraid of someone I know personally finding out about this, because I know if they did, I would be absolutely horrified. I'm trying to keep it a secret...It's not easy.

I just thought I would share that story because it sounded fairly similar to your personal story about the balls. Really interesting, I have to say, but I'm SO thankful that you posted it! I've been keeping my secret silent, and I feel the need to inform others about my struggles with this, and this post seemed like the perfect place to do so. I hope you can somewhat relate to my story, andI hope it helps you cope with your issue! I'm sorry to hear about it. :/

-Jennifer. :)

[Francisco]

ADD, but I went to special therapy for it, so it wasn't/isn't (isn't supposed to be) big problem.

[sue peake]

thanks guys for the reply.unfortunatly rashomon i carnt discuss with my therapist as i had last session last monday.however i have read info on fpp since you advised.i can honestly say,yeh sounds like i fit.

i also read saras blog on the differences between md and fpp.i like you arnt really sure there is one.i think its far more complicated than that.i think mood,situation well just lots of things have different effects on out dreaming or fantasizing.

most of the time i know my daydreams are not real but i can after fantasizing about something for many years sometimes get mixed up what really happened as apposed to what i had wishes happened and fantasized about.also reading about how the response of family or parents can make a difference i have to say im inclined to agree.

i told about my bouncy balls.now where my mum was a little more realistic and possibly worried about it,i fed them,clothed them,built furnature and made a house in my bedroom cupboard etc....my dad was completely different.i recall when i ripped up my mums new net curtain to make a wedding dress for sindy explaining why to my dad.the moment i told him instead of telling me off he sent my mum to the shop for sweets,fizzy pop and a cake for the wedding party.i sometimes think this was really good of him to be so accepting of me,but often i wish he hadnt done it and took a more realisticx approach with me.

i haqd one ball bonnie,my mum squashed her in the door jar and she broke in pieces.i was so sad i had to bury her in a fancy box and found a nice spot in the street.the funny thing is even now and im 41yrs old i still feel sad and think about her when i pass that spot.

now i know they were just balls,they werent really alive,i even knew it then,its just at the time i forget and they feel real.

hope i make sence.

thanks anyhow.

[Jenna]

Hmm well I remember when I was a little kid I made up this imaginary superhero (I wasn't a daydreamer but Idid make up some superhero who I occasionally pretended to be.) I was about 4/5 when I made the name so it is incredibly stupid yet I can't seem to fully change my charcters name from that. It is like my mind won't let me change it (I'm working on it a bit to where a couple of charcters call her different things but most call her that name.)