I found on WIKIHOW website  some advices to help understand MDD and deal with it:    

         -  http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Maladaptive-Daydreaming

         - http://www.wikihow.com/Keep-from-Excessively-Daydreaming

         - http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Daydreaming-and-Get-Stuff-Done

Tell me if it's helpful !

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Comment by Noor on April 15, 2016 at 4:30am

Hello Sally !

Your analysis is quite interseting. I recognise myself when you say : "I would probably start any list to over come MD with analysing the underlying forces of your distress and trying, in small steps to make real life better."

Maybe that my comments should be moderate on analysis of MDD ? I don't know, I try so hard to find a solution to end this that I probably became a tiny bit pessimistic. The webites linked helped me to understand the way I act with my MDD, but didn't helped to stop it completely.

I'm curious to know the kindle book's title about MD.

With all good wishes, Noor :)

Comment by Sally on April 13, 2016 at 6:26am

Oh, and i had to get rid of my smartphone (which is now like a fashionable thing to do!) and get the cheapest , yucky phone. I cant play computer games 'normally' either. Like 95% of the western world i get addicted to these and time just totally disappears. Unlike them i have MD and struggle enough as it is without those factors as well so Id add those to the list.

Comment by Sally on April 13, 2016 at 5:57am

Sorry, it was Schupak who is a psychologist and studying MD who created the definition obsessive fantasizers to create a distinction between those who suffered abuse (MD) And those that aven't (OF).

Comment by Sally on April 13, 2016 at 5:49am

My apologies, Noor, if i seemed to be correcting you. I read and enjoyed the lists, however, I would probably start any list to over come MD with analysing the underlying forces of your distress and trying, in small steps to make real life better. IT simply occurred to me when reading the lists, that mess was a part of my own maladaptive behaviour.

On after thought, I think what I simply mean is reacting to stressors that your monkey mind creates, such as 'my belly has become very big and i need to loose weight' . Rather than just allowing it to spiral and fester, we should concentrate our energies on  taking positive, life affirming action to combat it so you don't need to slip into destruction. This advice is true to all addicts, whether its heroin or daydreaming.

  In the kindle book about MD that I am reading at the moment, the author is trying to create an argument that there are in fact two different types, as you have described, and she calls one type maladaptive daydreamers and one type obssessive fantasizers, and I think by her definition i would be the first and you would be the latter. She admits to have no qualification in psychology or psychiatry and its just her own opinion though. I'm not fully convinced that mine isn't just a manifestation of complex PTSD and that I'm simply giving names to the symptoms of PTSD rather than having an additional psychological problem altogether.

Comment by Noor on April 12, 2016 at 11:46am

It's true that as long as you use daydreams as a healer, it's hard to stop (I know what I'm talking about :) ). You develop a mechanism of self-defense towards toxic thoughts and just like you, toxic relations. A circle begin at the same time vicious and reassuring. But I think that the fact that you know the origins of your issues, it's already a good point on the way to cure even if it's very long. Finding a man who truly understands and love you, will (I'm sure) be one of the reason of your "freedom". But as the same time, If I can advise you don't expect every thing from a "salviour man". You need to cherish and love your self first. You deserve it ! :)

Comment by Noor on April 12, 2016 at 5:56am

Hello Sally !

 By posting these links ; I didn't said to myself that it was going "to cure" people but at least maybe understanding mechanisms of MDD.
For me there are several types of people who lock themselves into daydreams:

- There are those (as you said it) who absolutely can't face the reality, they suffer from MDD because it reveals deeper problems
(we see only the tip of the iceberg, right ?).

Their worries paralyse them from the everyday life and it can last for long years. They can't cure themselves, and need an external help.

-And then, they're those who have no «deeper problems» ( which doesn't mean that they don't matter) they have difficulties to temporarily face an issue in their lives.
This second category of people use daydreams as a sanctuary for a short period of time, which doesn't 
affect their entire existence (unlike the first  "type" of people )

The latter, in my opinion, can cure by themselves, websites that I linked can (maybe) help them.

I hope that I was clear in my explanations, hoping that you don't see any attack there from me, I am happy that you answered to my post.

Warm wishes,

Noor

Comment by Sally on April 11, 2016 at 6:44am

I think also, it is important that you don't live in a physical or emotional mess, or both. And if you do have to own up to the fact you are in either of those situations, then, most likely your there because you don't know how to fix it, and you need to ask for help. Also, just asking for help generally as its not so much 'stopping the day dreams' as it is being able to face reality.

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