All that glitters is not gold

[Bee Anchor]

Hi folks

 

I just joined and for a long time I just did not know what was wrong with me.

Then I found out there was a name for my problem after many years.

MDD has worn out its welcome in my book yet it still feels so good. I want to stop

but for what? Real life is terribly bland. I cannot seem to summon up interests

in those around me - I feel like an alien.For a long time I thought that the imaginary world was

better than the real world. Back then maybe it was - my home had a lot of domestic  violence due

to an alcoholic parent. But now I have to stop.

When I read that people here feel the same way about there surroundings I realized that the problem then must be me and not everybody else.

On the outside ,I have managed to complete my degree and find a job, I am also pursuing a Masters

and also completing a film course . I realized that I definitely bit off more than I could chew!!!

I am trying so hard not to miss out on the things in life that I desperately want to pursue.

Meeting deadlines due to MDD and procrastination has been a bitch and is my achilles heel.

My dream is to travel around the world and do an art degree .Sigh.

 

 

[Kacey]

Yes, my DD world is better than my real world. Over the last month it's nearly taken over my life and I can't get into anything else around me. It's never gone on this long. I'm worried about my sanity. It sounds like you've become really successful, though, despite your MDD. Good for you!

[Bee Anchor]

Its almost as if MDD re-calibrates your benchmark for whats compelling. The DD is always more exciting than the real world and its inhabitants.A "crash" is always between DDs when you are actually  forced to take in the world in its hideousness. Never give up the fight . Sometimes,I feel we are dream warriors fighting in this world and parallel universes. Never give up fighting for your goals in the real world.

[taffle]

I also come from a dysfunctional family and I suck at social interaction probably because I have autism, which led to bullyings. I think I develop MD as a means to escape from the harsh reality around me. I know I have to stop, but it's hard because once I stop completely, I realize how horrid real life can be and so in order to stop the pain, I inadvertently go back to 'MD mode.' You are one of the lucky ones, being able to finish your degree and get a good job as well; I am still trying to finish my degree. Life is a b---tch, for me at least, but I think there's lots of hope for you.