"Accidents" during a dreaming episode

[Dreamer]

First, sorry for all the blog posts. I've been visiting family all this week in a very cold and snowy climate and I've probably had far too  much free time on my hands (with no privacy to daydream!) . During this sudden free time, I've been feeling reflective about my dreaming and wanting to document and share my thoughts. 

________

My daydreaming has often involved scenes in which I am defending myself and fighting against a, “bad guy.”   When I was about 12 or 13 years old,  I was heavily engaged in one of these fighting scenes. I remember pacing around my room, kicking and punching.  I could no longer, “see,” my bedroom as I was fully emerged in the fantasy.

During the fight scene, I mistakenly kicked  my mother’s word processor that was on my floor, causing  it damage. This immediately took me out of the daydream and I had another moment of, “What am I doing? Has this gotten out of hand? What is wrong with me?”

I remember experiencing a great amount of anxiety about how I would possibly explain the broken word processor to my mom. I kicked it. I broke it.

What could I tell my Mother? “Mom, I was pretending to fight somebody in self defense and I  mistook the word processor for the bad guy?”   Who would believe that story? I was a teenager, not a young child. 

When my mother asked what happened to the world processor, I lied and told her that I didn’t know.

I couldn’t tell the truth because I didn’t understand what the truth was.

I felt isolated and lonely with my behavior.

I felt guilty about lying.

I felt bad that I broke the processor.

and I feared that I might be going crazy.

[Caolán]

Haha I've definitely broken glass while I'm prancing around in my daydreams. It's bound to happen when you are being active in small confined spaces.