Where wild minds come to rest
I've been lurking around and posting hear and there for a while. But I never did any kind of formal introduction, so I figured I might as well.
My name is Marie. I am currently a junior in high-school, right now it is my dearest ambition to go to art school and become a graphic novel artist. I enjoy manga and anime, and the occasional American cartoon. I like action adventure manga and I have a particular fondness for really old cheesy space animes. And Gundam. I like Gundam a lot. Anything with giant robots flailing about in space with lots of lasers and pretty boys is alright in my books. I also like the complex political element. I like stories with complex political elements.
I also have a tendency to ramble and get very off track from my original topic. Like right up there. I was talking about my interests, and then I started rambling about Gundam.
Anyways, I also enjoy reading books, which I go through with astonishing speed. But I have a tendancy to re-read the same book many times over, something that angers my brother because he thinks I am not trying enough new things. Is anyone else like this¿ Sorry about the upside down question marks. I can't figure out how to get my mac to do them the right way.
I enjoy a number of other things as well, going for walks, video games, I'm not very good at video games though, and I can't manage to beat most of them, or find the time to play them.
And then there is writing and drawing/art and story-crafting. I consider these to more then interests. I hate using the phrase "they are my life" because it makes me feel like an angsty teenage girl. But it's pretty close to the truth. I'm not all that good at drawing/art, it often ends up that the things I see in my head are far better than what I am capable of producing which causes a lot of frustration. And for writing... I'm not great at it, I think because when I envision a story, it is in comic format, which doesn't always transfer well to writing. If I start a story as writing it comes out better, but I'm never totally satisfied with anything for more than a day. Story-crafting is the only thing I have almost total confidence in. There are sometimes doubts that the story has some cliched elements, but I usually I feel like I can over come it with the characters or some twist. For me story-crafting and day-dreaming are pretty much the same thing. I make discoveries about the story at the same time my characters do.
My memories about when exactly this started are sort of vague. When I was little I daydreamed about characters in whatever anime or book I happened to be watching/reading at the time. And I also played these games with my friends, where we would go on long multi-session adventures, that were usually based of what ever anime, game or book we happened to be into at that time. Part of it was also that we made a game out of our own lives, except it wasn't really a game. We made our lives into something that would be in a game, we became faries or other powerful creatures and deafened our school from demons, except to us it was totally real, or to me at least, I think it was probably the most real to me. And a pretty big part of me still likes to believe it was real. And that it maybe still could be.
But when I went to middle school these games pretty much stopped, and the friends I had gone on adventures with either changed for the worse and became jerks, or I never saw them because of my middle school's idiotic system of dividing kids. I looks at this time in middle school as one of the lowest point of my short life. I think it matches up a little bit with the time my daydreams began to be a more about my own characters, and there was one that had a full enough story and characters that I wanted to actually do something with. I think there were actually two of them... Looking back, neither were very good, but they still hold a special place in my heart.
Then when I got to the high school I was convinced by a friend I had recently started growing closer to, to join the manga club with him. At this point I had only a juvenile interest in drawing, but the manga club gave me the inspiration to grow better, and as my stories grew stronger I began to realize that I what I wanted more than anything was to spend the rest of my life telling stories with my art. It's something I feel very strongly about, maybe too strongly... My dad was really opposed to the idea at first, so I think it might have partially driven me to the desperation and perfectionist attitude I have now. But my dad has taken an almost unsettling 180 after seeing the facilities at MassArt, now when ever we talk about collage he is pretty much like, "Marie is going to MassArt. No need to even bother applying to other schools."
It's weird but I'm not complaining.
No one I know knows about Maladaptive daydreaming. Some people I am close to (my boyfriend, my mom, some close friends) know the way stories are for me, though I'm not sure they fully grasp how deep it goes, with is why I hesitate to tell anyone.
Anyways, that is a small part of my life story. Sorry for the ranting, rambling wall of text. I tend to do that.
I will eventually get around to posting some writing or art.
Oh I also recently started playing neopets again after a long hiatus. My user name is Crystalanthemums if you have an account and want to friend me.