A Glamorous Affliction? A Light-Hearted Struggle?

[Erin]

This is something that has been bugging me for a while now.... But, just to be clear before I start, not ALL of my friends have reacted in these ways. I've been trying to be more open about this with my closest friends, and have even begun outright telling some of them. So far, the overwhelming reaction to my explanation of what MD is?

"Oh, really?? I think I have that, too!!"

At first, every single time, I get very excited. Maybe they DO actually have MD! So, I try to commiserate with them what it's like. Slowly, they grow less and less enthusiastic. When I talk about pacing, they claim they've never done anything like that while daydreaming. But, still they say....

"Yeah, I don't do any of that. But, I'm almost POSITIVE I have it! I mean, I daydream ALL the time and I have the most interesting and creative daydreams! Maybe mine is just less severe than yours?"

 

So, lately, I've been thinking..... Does MD come across as a "glamorous affliction" to people without it? As if having MD makes you special and different and extra creative? My friends that claim they have it become incredibly adamant that they DEFINITELY have it, and I've even had one friend tell me they were jealous of me. But, any time I try to ask them about the negative effects of MD, they brush them off and claim they must not suffer from them, as if they have a "better" version of it than me.

My second question is: Is it wrong for me to be a little annoyed with my friends who claim they have it and the friends who tell me they're jealous? I mean, I DO think that MD can be helpful and it's definitely interesting. I guess I'm just tired of people reacting to my problem as if it's no big deal. My friends assume it must be fun and want to have it as well, and the authority figures in my life claim I'm just over-reacting.

[Erin Kaye]

ould maybe see how people could view it as a positive thing - we're definitely creative people, we always have people in our lives that love us, admire us, that we can confide in and trust. The trouble is, these people only exist in our heads. I once explained to my therapist about my daydreaming, tried to convince her that it wasn't normal, but she pretty much dismissed it as, "Oh everybody daydreams, that's normal.

But for most people it's not maladaptive (the "M" in MD). It doesn't control them. And that's where the difference comes in. Anything can be a disorder as soon as it becomes disruptive to their lives. I think most of us went "Holy crap - that's me!!" when we saw the article on Yahoo because we recognized the disruptiveness of the disorder. It's not something we kind of have. We definitely have it. We love it and we hate it, but it's part of us.

[Audrey Montgomery]

MD is a way of life, something you deal with on  consistent basis, for me anyway. It happens all the time. It's not something you'd respond to with, "Oh yeah, I kind of have that." When I read this board for the first time it was complete shock. Total shock that someone else has had the same issue. I can't make this go away. It's a constant struggle. I can only attempt to keep it at bay. That's why I don't want to tell anyone. It's so personal.

 

[M. Derp Peterséns]

Glamorous affliction? Oh PUUUUH-LEEEZEEE! Worst is this doesn't surprise me, people act this way. When it comes to how we all have different beliefs on what MD truly is - people with MD know they have it. Sure there are less severe versions or other factors to some peoples behavior, but these seems to be exceptions. And regarding those who immediately state they have it but no actual symptoms, it is unbecoming for humans with a brain to not use it.

[Erin]

I can definitely understand what you're saying, Rashomon. But, I DO engage in social activities. I obviously have friends. I don't "wallow" in it. And I certainly have aspirations in my life that I would love to achieve. I'm not sure I agree with the implications that MD is something that can simply be controlled or eradicated simply because you want it to be and not through long, difficult work.

But, it is true that I would never really want my MD to go away. I find it very useful occasionally, when I can control it. But, I didn't "allow" it to take control of my life. I've had it since before I can remember. Yes, it's like an addiction, but it's an addiction I was born with. So, the implications that all of us still have it only because we "wallow" in it or we have no friends or we have no direction in our life to focus ourselves on seems very callous to me.

But, maybe I'm just being a little over-sensitive. I can definitely believe that there is a way to let MD win over your life. I think you should definitely try to interact with people and join groups and things to help distract yourself from it as much as possible. But, I don't think that anything anyone's done has necessarily caused it. We can fight against it, but we aren't entirely sure it's curable. You can control it, but full-on eradication may or may not be a reality.