A first for me too!!!

[Alice in Wonderland]

Hi  all,

I just became a member earlier today and have just now have gotten the courage to type something.

I have kept my MD a secret for sooooooooooo long that I am feeling very vulnerable and a little bit scared right now.

I am also very new to discussion forums in general so please forgive me in advance if I mess up (feel free to correct me if I do something wrong).

I realized that my daydreaming wasn't as normal as most when I was about 8 years old.  I was out on my swing set for about an hour having wonderful conversations out loud with myself,  making gestures,. laughing etc...( really into my  daydream) when I got hungry and came inside the house for something to eat. As soon as I walked in, I saw  my mother and brother on the floor roaring with laughter at how they had seen me. I was completely mortified!!! I made a promise to myself to never get caught again. 

I thought that I would outgrow it, told myself that daydreaming was normal for children and teenagers. Then as a young adult I justified it by telling myself it was just boredom and tried to keep my mind busy. That didn't work either.

I found myself sometimes getting so lost in my daydreams that I wouldn't want to go out with friends or family because I would lose the flow of the storyline. I started to really shut myself off from the rest of the world..my world was much more fun and interesting ( I am also an introvert so being with people often frustrated me anyway.... small talk drives me nuts  :))

My family or friends don't know anything about MD, I guard this secret with my life, so fearful that I would be institutionalized if anyone found out.... until yesterday. I was in a bookstore looking at the magazines when  I picked up " Scientific American Mind - The Mad Science of CREATIVITY" I flipped through the pages and found the article

"Living In An Imaginary World" I started to cry and wanted to yell from a mountain top "I am not crazy and I am not alone." Such a sense of relief washed over me like a wave.

Until yesterday I felt so isolated and alone and now I have an opportunity to experience belonging to a community that spends most of our time alone in our own little world and yet shares the power to give and receive support.. how positively wonderful!!!!

Glad to be here

[Kema]

Hi! i just found out about it today approximately 2 hours ago.. I was also increidibly happy, i have had it so long and I knew it wasn't normal, but... i'm just happy to be here 

[C. Foster]

Welcome! I know exactly how you feel. It's wonderful to find out you're not alone.  Definitely will be checking out that magazine as well if it's still on the shelves.

[Alice in Wonderland]

Thank you Leda for making me feel so welcome...and yes the identification is huge.

You mentioned that MD is a disorder, do you know if it is listed in any Psychology books??

[Leda]

welcome to the forum.
what i like the most in this forum is to identify myself with most of most people describe here.
my family used to make fun of me as well and I used to do my best not to let it out. i was waiting to outgrow it but from the day I found out it is a known disorder I decide to do something about it. if not to stop it, at least to keep it under control