19 year old girl with Clinical depression and MD

[Lee Young Ae]

   I am from India , suffering from MD from around 5 years, In the beginning i never thought that such thing like MD exists... I just thought its normal to self talk or think deeply... I used to think that i am a deep thinker so i think endlessly or some times talk endlessly... but later on it started increasing so much that it affected my life very very badly... it used to consume all my time and i did nothing except day dreaming... I used to get late to college and every day i was made fun infront of every one but still due to this endless day dreaming and self talking i couldnt come out of it... mostly i  talk to myself when ever i get a chance to be alone... and there was only one place where i could get chance to stay alone thats bathroom so i started spending hours in it day dreaming and talking, crying ,laughing to myself ... some times around 5 hours in bathroom!!!!!!!!  and i can day dream whole day and night if i get a chance.... most of my day dreams are about finding a best friend/boyfriend who will listen to me and listen to all my problems etc so i talk to myself imagining a guy who is willing to listen to me and try to help me.. some times after watching movie i stay in that world of movie and i  cant come out of it for hours... i talk to myself and get emotional abt the characters and i feel like i m the part of that movie... and i self talk.... now a day due to  my severe low self esteem i m getting day dreaming /self talking abt being appreciated by public... i mean i day dream like every one is willing to listen to me and every one is appreciating me and loving me... and i m showing off my all skills and i dream like i m having all the skills and i m so beautiful etc etc but in real i m a waste i have no talent nor good looks...... I have gone through severe neglect in life and physical abuse by my family.... and verbal abuse in school , college.... i have been made fun of by people.... now i want to go to psychiatrist but i guess no one will believe that i have  MD ... last time when i went to psychologist he said its just '' satisfaction of your fantasies '' i am even afraid to show them abt MD bcoz they may think that '' we are docs and we know every thing and they may not believe us '' they may think that its our ''feeling'' thats all.... :'( I need help..... pls  do some thing about it...  My life is hell now due to clinical depression and this MD :'(

[Iris]

Dear Lee Young Ae,

I'd really like to hug you - I'm so sorry for you. Every child needs loving and caring parents, if not, the child escapes into fantasy-worlds to protect her good heart. How is your situation now with your family? Do you have a good friend? Try to console that little sad girl that you have been, this sad helpless girl is still deep inside you. But you are a woman now, who is no more helpless. This website can help you to understand MD - many daydreamers experienced severe problems in their childhood.  

Please go to a psychiatrist for your depressions. I wish you to get an understanding doctor. I wish you all the best.

[greyartist]

MD and depression seem to go together often. I have had the same problem trying to tell doctors. But if you are getting treatment for your depression it may help your MD. I hope things get better for you soon.