I joined this group more than a month ago but I didn't know what to do once I was accepted. It kept gnawing at the back of my brain but I felt a little embarrassed. I guess I am ashamed at how much day dreaming has taken over my life. It basically is my life at this point. I'm currently unemployed and have dropped out of school. I don't know if it's because of day dreaming or not but there's definitely some connection. When I tried to study I'd end up day dreaming. I could not concentrate. Lately (for the past few months?) I have had little motivation to even pick up works of fiction I used to be really into in favor of floating off somewhere else. 

I don't know if I have MD. All I did was google something like "excessive day dreaming and repetitive motions" and it seemed to fit me. 

I don't know if MD is caused by something else or if it's something all on its own. I do know I use it to cope with my being trans. Like ever since I was 14 or so I definitely imagined myself as male. Prior to that I imagined myself as female or male depending on what was playing out. In my head, I feel safer and can escape body dysphoria where as in real life, I am constantly sad and upset.

I honestly don't even know where I'm heading with this. I don't know if I can say  I have MD and take myself seriously. Mental health problems are not really talked about in my house as something we're "allowed" to have. My gender identity problems have been discussed but I am not allowed to tell anyone outside the family and treatment is apparently not something I can have. Day dreaming is my only therapy. It's keeping me from falling apart. I feel like it's a crutch and to be honest I don't think I want to give it up. I have so many self worth issues, and I can't get help so where does that leave me? I can't even make friends at this point. 

Maybe if I keep a blog here and if I read other people's experiences I can find some sense of normalcy. Maybe that will help me find some sort of solid ground to build on.

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Comment by Sammy on October 25, 2013 at 5:36pm

trying to find a solution to your life.

Comment by Sammy on October 25, 2013 at 5:35pm

I am sorry to hear about your problems. You are definitely not alone. When you daydream too much, it can sometimes interfere with your schoolwork. And it's not really because you don't do well, I believe it's because there's so much in your head that when you read, it's a bit hard to get the information into your brain. That's what happened to me because I have trouble reading higher level works of literature, and my grade point average dropped from 100 to 85. You are also not alone when you say that you cannot get help and you're not allowed to speak about it outside your family. My mom doesn't want me talking about my fantasy world to other people because she thinks they're going to lock me in the hospital and charge my mom a lot of money for medications. But if you cannot get help, this website is a great place for you to talk about your problems and get advice. But I honestly think you will not get anywhere if you continue to daydream. It might be addictive, but you can make it in the real world. You have the ability to minimize your daydreams. You don't have to just suddenly escape your imagination, but if you build up on the real world around you, and your real life, it'll help you feel better about yourself and to clear your mind. How do you do that? Well, it helps to know what your real problems are. You said you were unemployed and cannot make friends at this point. Can't make friends at this point...is it because you are too shy or you dropped out of school? If it is because you dropped out of school, try to make a couple of friends your age around your neighborhood. If it is because you are shy, try to make at least one friend, and make sure they're nice. You can say something like "Hi. How are you doing?" and ask to become friends. Say that you are having trouble making friends and that you're shy. Lots of people are very friendly, but if one does not seem so nice, don't say anything, but look for another. You're also looking for employment. Is there anything particular you wanted to do? If so, try to spend some more time and extra effort in job searching, based on that interest. If not, it's important to either try to find one, or continue to browse through different jobs to find one that you like. Sorry if I got a bit off topic. I hope this helped, and I also wish the best for you in finding employment and

Comment by August on October 25, 2013 at 2:45pm

@MatthewR Nice to meet you too. Thanks for the comment. I was feeling kind of worried about posting this but seeing that people can relate makes me feel a little less ridiculous. 

@Sky with Diamonds Thank you. Your comment helped me feel less anxious. It's still a bit surreal to see how other people have this same problem. I hope your job search is successful.

Comment by Sky with Diamonds on October 24, 2013 at 5:48pm

It sounds to me, as if you do in fact have MDD. I found out about MDD and joined this site, right when i had to drop out of school because of it. I am also looking for a job. I know it may feel like youre alone, but that is far from the truth. After learing more about MDD, things will start to become clearer for you. Trust me, things will change. Its not the answer to all day dreaming problems, but it certainly helps and leads you to some solutions. With everything else you say you are going through, its no wonder why you would turn to day dreaming. Everyone has a different story, but we all happened to find this site for a reason. Through that, we are all open to trying to help and understand each other. I hope nothing but the best for you on your journey

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