After spending many years in denial and some more in finding out what was wrong with me, I'm finally visiting a psychiatrist. 

Riding there in a cab, I think about myself for the first time in many days. I think about this person, who was me, willingly riding towards what I thought would be a painful ordeal. It was.

The ride itself is oddly calming – open spaces on both sides of the road, tress, grass, people going about their daily mundane-ness, the cool breeze that made my…