Where wild minds come to rest
I am not very good at expressing myself so as usual I found something which reflects my feelings better than me:
From a blog on mental health (specifically schizophrenia and emotional health):
We all get bothered, flustered, disillusioned, or disappointed from time to time (in varying degrees), and it would be dishonest of me to pretend I’m any different. If you can express yourself in a constructive way that doesn’t hurt anyone mentally, verbally, or physically, it can help to prevent more extreme outbursts.
“It’s the non-stop, nagging, nit picking voice in your head, telling you that nothing you do will ever be good enough, that you’ve missed all your chances and messed up all your opportunities, that you don’t deserve love, respect and happiness,”
From Tony Hill in ‘Nocebo’…“Oh c’mon, did it ever occur to you if you tell a little girl over and over again that she is evil she’s gonna believe it!”
The more you attack someone the more you criticize, the more you abuse – the more damage you are doing to the most fragile organ of the body. It changes processes, patterns, thoughts, affects the inner working of the synapses and lobes.
Places, people, faces, songs, smells, clothes, conversations, words, grunts. It doesn’t take much to force that fragile organ to remind you of something.
As I said to the psychiatrist……I started writing the blog to help find it again; sharing my soul which I refused to believe was selfish, uncaring, wrong, repulsive, like a cancer, but as the words which cut me deep continue to bleed.
Though this blog was on emotional abuse I realized I had been doing that to myself. And while I was doing it I knew what I was doing yet I was too scared to stop as I thought and still believe I would not have been able to function and would have a breakdown.