So I haven't seen coming online for a very long time. But I have noticed that I tend to relapse and whenever my MD goes down I start to come online more. Anyway around December last year I felt sick. Comman cold symptoms with blood in mucus etc. Long story short after a lot of tests(nothing came out them)and recurring 99.5 fever at night I finally found that my sinuses on either side of my nose were swelled up and that was causing my symptoms. Also I have PCOD and found a breast lump( had found one before as well) and a little white liquid came out when I squeezed. My doctor reassured me that it was nothing to worry about gave me primosa oil and it went down though it's still there. Both these happened together so I tried Google search it and boy did the results scared the shit out of me. Even though I know that searching for such things triggers me I still do it sometimes. Also before my sinus infection I got so paranoid that I Google everything from lung cancer to throat cancer to everything in between. It got so bad that I started crying even though I wasn't diagnosised with anything. I was crying non stop and wouldn't and couldn't explain to my family what was wrong with me. Also now that everything is fine I have started being worried about my family members. My parents are near 60 and my father is a smoker and my mother has illness issues as well. So now I'm extremely worried about something happening to them or if something happens to me then what they would go through. Also once a while back a shared a drink with my friend and was scare about getting hiv only because she is sexually active and joked once about fearing she got aids( she didn't even know the difference between hiv and aids).I know it sounds idiotic and stupid but all this has happened within the last few months and I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. I can live like this anymore. Also I started getting scared of dying because I had suicidal thoughts awhile back and now that my depression has gone down its scaring me because karma might get back at me. I think I might have developed anxiety. Also I'm 20 years old and my mother has always been an overly anxious person. Sorry if this post isn't very clear but I typed this entire thing on phone.